Thankful For My Thirties

The Storm

The start of my thirties was stormy. On October 8, 2016, Hurricane Matthew made landfall in South Carolina. Power went out, streets were impassable due to debris, and sections of our fence were blown into oblivion. Without access to a supermarket to purchase ingredients for a cake, my wife used a box of brownie mix at my sister-in-law’s house to bake me an alternative birthday treat. Don’t worry, we managed 😉.

A photo of Sid and me on the first day of my thirties. Because of Hurricane Matthew, Sid baked me brownies instead of a cake.

Well, nine years and 364 days later, I can tell you the “stormy conditions” that ushered in my thirties cleared out pretty quickly—both literally and figuratively. Thanks be to God, I spent the past decade of my life enjoying relatively clear skies. Of course clouds moved in at times and a few parades were rained on but for the most part we steered clear of hurricanes.

The first photo was of Sid and me on the first day of my thirties. This photo was taken on the second-to-last day of my thirties (Oct. 6, 2026).

Family, Career, Faith

That’s not to say the past 10 years were boring. In fact, this last decade was characterized by major life moves and growth. But if you are looking for a definitive word that specifically defines and encapsulates my thirties, that’s easy: family.

The best thing to come out of my thirties was this family.

After marrying my wife in my twenties, we became a family during my thirties. Sloan was born shortly after I turned 30 and then Beau came around when I was 33. The following years were spent raising our children from newborns to toddlers to now the middle childhood stage. There is nothing that remotely comes close to overtaking the crowning achievement of my thirties than becoming a dad.

The first photo take of us as a family of four. So blessed that Sloan and Beau both entered my life during my thirties.

And that includes my professional life. But even though the moves I made in my career pale in comparison to my role as a father, they are worth quickly mentioning. During my thirties I worked for three different universities as I climbed the proverbial ladder. A social media marketing manager role at Coastal Carolina University morphed into a strategist gig at Washington State University that eventually opened the door to a director of marketing appointment at Eastern Washington University. As this progression transpired, my wife’s career evolved too. She went from a school teacher to an insurance underwriter.

Our professional careers have evolved a lot during my thirties. Sid and me are thankful to work for our respective employers, Traveler’s and Eastern Washington University.

These professional jumps don’t usually keep you locked in a specific area and that definitely proved true for us. During my thirties, we made a major decision to move from South Carolina to Washington state. With it came several different addresses. Over the past decade we lived in five different houses before deciding to securely plant roots in the Spokane Valley where we purchased a home in 2023.

We purchased a home in 2023.

But no matter where we lived throughout my thirties, a crucifix followed us, symbolizing our Christian faith. I became much more involved in the Church over the past 10 years. I joined the Knights of Columbus, became deeply involved with a young adult/young family Catholic group, teamed up with Sid to prepare eight engaged couples for God-centered marriages, was discerned (with Sid) as leader of the Spokane Engaged Encounter community, and became spiritually nourished as a parishioner at two incredible parishes—St. Andrew (Myrtle Beach) and St. Mary (Spokane Valley). I witnessed with incredible pride as Sidney converted to Catholicism, my children thrived at St. Mary Catholic School, and sacraments were bestowed on us all.

One of the biggest developments and blessings in my thirties was finding our spiritual home, St. Mary Catholic Church (Spokane Valley).

Highlights

What more can I ask for from a decade that yielded family, professional, and spiritual fulfillment? Not much. But I am grateful for all the additional memories that defined my thirties such as…

– Traveling to places such as the Caribbean, Hawaii, Mexico, and Disney World

– Presenting at national conferences for work in Chicago, Las Vegas, and Washington D.C.

– Becoming godparents to Noble and Neteyam

– Participating in major community events such as road races and playing/volunteering at Hoopfest

– Watching my kids play sports

– Celebrating extended family events such as my sister-in-law’s wedding, my brother’s wedding, arrival of nieces and nephews, and my parents’ retirements

– Showing my wife and children special places of my past, whether that be attending Mead High School football games or taking them on Missoula weekend trips

– Rocking out at a major country music festival, listening to Magic Johnson speak, and watching Penn & Teller perform magic

– Learning to lose weight in a healthy way and winning a fitness challenge

– Blogging all of my family’s adventures and maintaining a detailed written record of every single day that comprised my thirties

Loss and Hardships

But despite the progress and memories, I did experience loss during my thirties. The passing that devastated me the most was the sudden death of my Aunt Nancy. In fact, during this decade I learned that death can come very quickly and when you least expect it. Although just a short list, over the past decade I mourned the deaths of people such as John Kost, Gary Baskett, Jessica Hughes, James Gibson, Travis Overton, Garth Fritel, JoAnna Dalton, Rob Heacock, Fred Telles, Judy Cannon, Tony Shelley, Christian Layman, Lee Spencer, Charlie Vandermark, Steve Hackney, Nancy Capp, and so many more. May we continue to pray for the repose of their souls.

Losing my Aunt Nancy was devastating.

Then of course there was COVID. My mid-thirties were spent in midst of a historic pandemic that took countless lives, divided society, and changed the world forever. I hope I encounter nothing like it ever again.

Despite my wishful thinking, I know adversity awaits in my forties. Who knows what worldwide events will transpire and impact us in our little corner of Washington. I know one thing: AI needs to be checked and regulated for the safety of all. And, yes, if I thought death of friends and loved ones was rampant in my thirties, I just need to wait for this next decade. Sid and I talk about it all the time and we know as we navigate through life, we will face more and more loss.

Optimistic Outlook

However, even with death, the pandemic, and other non-mentioned obstacles, I loved my thirties. As I mentioned above, building a family with Sidney was the absolute best thing to happen and luckily all of that is transferable to the next decade of life 😊.

I checked the forecast for tomorrow and it definitely won’t be stormy. In fact, the weather report calls for sunshine and blue skies. Not a bad start to my forties, right? Hopefully the extended outlook will trend in a similar way for the next 10 years. We shall see. Don’t Blink.

Garth Thursday Rundown

Here in the Inland Northwest, we have transitioned from hot temperatures in 90s to more early autumn-like temperatures in the 70s. With school now in session and football in full swing, it seems about right. You know what else seems about right? Five random topics on a Thursday…

Garth – At the end of August, Garth Fritel passed away (read obituary). This man was afflicted with ALS but still managed to live a fulfilling life centered on his family and faith. Garth embraced his debilitating disease as his cross and inspired so many (including myself—I wrote this post in 2022) by his love for Christ. Those of us who attended mass with Garth will never forget how he gave all his strength to receive the Holy Eucharist via syringe at every opportunity. I am grateful I had to chance to say goodbye to Garth and thank him for increasing my faith. Please pray for Garth’s soul and for his wife, Adeline, and daughters, Tovah and Daphne. May eternal rest be grant unto Garth, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him.

Garth is pictured with his two daughters, his wife, Fr. Lewis, our St. Mary formation director, and NCR’s Kevin Wells (this photo is courtesy of Kevin Wells).

Fr. Jeff Sketch – I have written extensively about how our parish priest, Fr. Jeff Lewis, enriches our family in faith and friendship. Both of our children love him dearly. This photo is from this past weekend at the home of our friends. Sloan drew a portrait of Fr. Jeff and presented it to him for his approval. I don’t know if he was impressed…

Sloan reveals her sketch to Fr. Jeff Lewis.

Evacuate! – I could handle the humidity and rain of South Carolina, but the hurricanes sure got old. Every year I lived in the South, there was always a major storm that threatened our area. However, there was only one that caused us to evacuate. On this date six years ago, we packed up (Sid, 1-year-old Sloan, and me) and drove to Jacksonville where we stayed at Sid’s aunt’s house for a few days. We made the best of a stressful situation as we visited Disney Land, went to the zoo, and caught up with Sid’s cousin.

When we evacuated to Jacksonville because of Hurricane Florence, we made a day trip to Disney World.

National Chocolate Milkshake Day – Judging by the bold words to the left, you know what day it is. Let me take you back seven years to when I revealed my list of Top Five Favorite Corporate Milkshakes. Usually I make you follow the link to see my #1 choice but I am feeling generous tonight and will straight up tell you: Sonic is home to the best milkshakes in the country. However, if you want to find out the other four chains with excellent milkshakes, you need to actually read the post.

Beau and Sloan drinking a milkshake in November 2023.

Back to Homework – Last week, Sloan and Beau returned to St. Mary Catholic School. They spent those first few days getting acclimated to everything. This week? The homework has started! The below photo is from Monday night as my children hammered out their assignments. Sid and I have differing philosophies on homework but I think it is a great way to instill responsibility and time management while keeping the mind sharp.

Sloan and Beau hard at work completing their homework.

———–

We have a busy weekend ahead of us. The fair, first soccer game, birthday party, fundraising dinner, and more! Whether you have a packed schedule like us or not, I hope your weekend is fulfilling. Don’t Blink.

The Inspiring Fritel Family

Every so often we attend the 5 p.m. Saturday vigil mass at St. Mary Catholic Church. As we enter the worship space, we always walk past a parishioner sitting in the back row. He chooses this spot because it allows space for his wheelchair. Toward the end of communion, Fr. Jeff Lewis will walk out to him and administer the blessed sacrament via syringe. It is always a touching moment to see both the man’s reverence and respect for the sacrament and Fr. Lewis’ dedication to make sure that he receives it.

Up until a couple months ago, I didn’t know much about this faithful parishioner. But at one of our Young Adult Catholic meetings with Fr. Jeff and Fr. Kevin Oiland, I learned some sobering and powerful information. Fr. Jeff opened up about the wheelchair-bound man named Garth Fritel, disclosing that he has ALS. He talked about Garth’s faith and then mentioned an effort he was going to spearhead.

Venerable Aloysius Schwartz is on the track to sainthood. Fr. Schwartz lived an extremely holy life in which he set up Catholic communities in some of the poorest countries on the planet and saved thousands and thousands of lives. He did this while battling ALS himself.

Fr. Lewis gathered the St. Mary community to pray to Fr. Al for the healing of Garth. If successful, it would help Fr. Al’s canonization process, establish a patron saint of ALS, and, most importantly in my eyes, cure Garth. A grounded man, Fr. Lewis has tried to manage expectations by saying there is no guarantee for healing but prayer is always a worthwhile endeavor, especially when the cards are stacked against you.

But for a moment, I just want to focus on Garth and his wife, Adeline. If you have not read the article yet, please do so. Seriously, read it. The piece written by Kevin Wells of National Catholic Register is simply superb.

Garth is pictured with his two daughters, his wife, Fr. Lewis, our St. Mary formation director, and NCR’s Kevin Wells (this photo is courtesy of Kevin Wells).

Garth had it all. Important job, beautiful family, and a genuine love for life. Then ALS hit. The savage disease ravaged his body over the course of five years and now he is unable to move any body part below his neck. He needs to use a computer to communicate. His parents moved into his house and they help Adeline provide Garth with 24/7 care. At least 12 times a day, he has to have his throat sectioned to clear it.

The attitude that both Garth and Adeline embrace is beyond inspiring. Garth has accepted his illness as his cross. As Fr. Al described it, they are nailed to the ALS cross. Like Fr. Al, Garth frames his ALS as a sign of love and special favor from Jesus. Garth’s life is extremely difficult and he has found himself in dark places, which the story does a phenomenal job of describing, but he has chosen life over the prospect of quitting.

The love and loyalty that Adeline has for her husband is pure and unwavering. Instead of bitterness, she focuses on the blessings generated by Garth’s ALS, quantifying them as “too many to count.” The way Adeline compares her family’s suffering to that of the Stations of the Cross will blow your mind.

Perhaps no other part of the article painted a more vivid picture in my mind than nightly prayer for the Fritels. They gather every evening and identify a blessing from the day. Garth always has one. Always.

Please keep Garth, Adeline, and their two children in your prayers. Let us pray that they continue to draw on their strong faith and that Fr. Al can provide healing if it is God’s will. What an inspiration. Don’t Blink.