Thankful For My Thirties

The Storm

The start of my thirties was stormy. On October 8, 2016, Hurricane Matthew made landfall in South Carolina. Power went out, streets were impassable due to debris, and sections of our fence were blown into oblivion. Without access to a supermarket to purchase ingredients for a cake, my wife used a box of brownie mix at my sister-in-law’s house to bake me an alternative birthday treat. Don’t worry, we managed 😉.

A photo of Sid and me on the first day of my thirties. Because of Hurricane Matthew, Sid baked me brownies instead of a cake.

Well, nine years and 364 days later, I can tell you the “stormy conditions” that ushered in my thirties cleared out pretty quickly—both literally and figuratively. Thanks be to God, I spent the past decade of my life enjoying relatively clear skies. Of course clouds moved in at times and a few parades were rained on but for the most part we steered clear of hurricanes.

The first photo was of Sid and me on the first day of my thirties. This photo was taken on the second-to-last day of my thirties (Oct. 6, 2026).

Family, Career, Faith

That’s not to say the past 10 years were boring. In fact, this last decade was characterized by major life moves and growth. But if you are looking for a definitive word that specifically defines and encapsulates my thirties, that’s easy: family.

The best thing to come out of my thirties was this family.

After marrying my wife in my twenties, we became a family during my thirties. Sloan was born shortly after I turned 30 and then Beau came around when I was 33. The following years were spent raising our children from newborns to toddlers to now the middle childhood stage. There is nothing that remotely comes close to overtaking the crowning achievement of my thirties than becoming a dad.

The first photo take of us as a family of four. So blessed that Sloan and Beau both entered my life during my thirties.

And that includes my professional life. But even though the moves I made in my career pale in comparison to my role as a father, they are worth quickly mentioning. During my thirties I worked for three different universities as I climbed the proverbial ladder. A social media marketing manager role at Coastal Carolina University morphed into a strategist gig at Washington State University that eventually opened the door to a director of marketing appointment at Eastern Washington University. As this progression transpired, my wife’s career evolved too. She went from a school teacher to an insurance underwriter.

Our professional careers have evolved a lot during my thirties. Sid and me are thankful to work for our respective employers, Traveler’s and Eastern Washington University.

These professional jumps don’t usually keep you locked in a specific area and that definitely proved true for us. During my thirties, we made a major decision to move from South Carolina to Washington state. With it came several different addresses. Over the past decade we lived in five different houses before deciding to securely plant roots in the Spokane Valley where we purchased a home in 2023.

We purchased a home in 2023.

But no matter where we lived throughout my thirties, a crucifix followed us, symbolizing our Christian faith. I became much more involved in the Church over the past 10 years. I joined the Knights of Columbus, became deeply involved with a young adult/young family Catholic group, teamed up with Sid to prepare eight engaged couples for God-centered marriages, was discerned (with Sid) as leader of the Spokane Engaged Encounter community, and became spiritually nourished as a parishioner at two incredible parishes—St. Andrew (Myrtle Beach) and St. Mary (Spokane Valley). I witnessed with incredible pride as Sidney converted to Catholicism, my children thrived at St. Mary Catholic School, and sacraments were bestowed on us all.

One of the biggest developments and blessings in my thirties was finding our spiritual home, St. Mary Catholic Church (Spokane Valley).

Highlights

What more can I ask for from a decade that yielded family, professional, and spiritual fulfillment? Not much. But I am grateful for all the additional memories that defined my thirties such as…

– Traveling to places such as the Caribbean, Hawaii, Mexico, and Disney World

– Presenting at national conferences for work in Chicago, Las Vegas, and Washington D.C.

– Becoming godparents to Noble and Neteyam

– Participating in major community events such as road races and playing/volunteering at Hoopfest

– Watching my kids play sports

– Celebrating extended family events such as my sister-in-law’s wedding, my brother’s wedding, arrival of nieces and nephews, and my parents’ retirements

– Showing my wife and children special places of my past, whether that be attending Mead High School football games or taking them on Missoula weekend trips

– Rocking out at a major country music festival, listening to Magic Johnson speak, and watching Penn & Teller perform magic

– Learning to lose weight in a healthy way and winning a fitness challenge

– Blogging all of my family’s adventures and maintaining a detailed written record of every single day that comprised my thirties

Loss and Hardships

But despite the progress and memories, I did experience loss during my thirties. The passing that devastated me the most was the sudden death of my Aunt Nancy. In fact, during this decade I learned that death can come very quickly and when you least expect it. Although just a short list, over the past decade I mourned the deaths of people such as John Kost, Gary Baskett, Jessica Hughes, James Gibson, Travis Overton, Garth Fritel, JoAnna Dalton, Rob Heacock, Fred Telles, Judy Cannon, Tony Shelley, Christian Layman, Lee Spencer, Charlie Vandermark, Steve Hackney, Nancy Capp, and so many more. May we continue to pray for the repose of their souls.

Losing my Aunt Nancy was devastating.

Then of course there was COVID. My mid-thirties were spent in midst of a historic pandemic that took countless lives, divided society, and changed the world forever. I hope I encounter nothing like it ever again.

Despite my wishful thinking, I know adversity awaits in my forties. Who knows what worldwide events will transpire and impact us in our little corner of Washington. I know one thing: AI needs to be checked and regulated for the safety of all. And, yes, if I thought death of friends and loved ones was rampant in my thirties, I just need to wait for this next decade. Sid and I talk about it all the time and we know as we navigate through life, we will face more and more loss.

Optimistic Outlook

However, even with death, the pandemic, and other non-mentioned obstacles, I loved my thirties. As I mentioned above, building a family with Sidney was the absolute best thing to happen and luckily all of that is transferable to the next decade of life 😊.

I checked the forecast for tomorrow and it definitely won’t be stormy. In fact, the weather report calls for sunshine and blue skies. Not a bad start to my forties, right? Hopefully the extended outlook will trend in a similar way for the next 10 years. We shall see. Don’t Blink.

Nancy Capp: Leaving An Iron Legacy

When I became a dad in 2017, I needed a new gym. Going to the campus where I was employed for an early morning workout and then transitioning straight to work was no longer an option. I now had a baby to take care of.

I needed a gym close by with early morning hours. This would allow me to slip out of the house while my wife and daughter were still sleeping, get my exercise in, and then return home so Sid could leave for work. I would then get Sloan ready for the day, spend time with her, and take her to daycare.

The local Myrtle Beach Gold’s Gym fit my needs perfectly. It had accommodating hours, fair membership fees, and all the necessary equipment. The 1980s vibe and gimmick-free environment also attracted me. Additionally, I would quickly learn that this gym also offered something that I had never sought nor knew (from a gym) before: community.

You see, Gold’s Gym had courteous members, a celebrated tradition, and a sense of support that radiated through the place.

And there was no mistaking that this special sense of community was fostered because of an obvious reason: the owners.

Thanks to Ted and Nancy Capp, many lives have been positively transformed.

Ted and Nancy Capp were the absolute best people. Humble, helpful, and fitness specimens themselves, the gym could not have been in better hands. They made me feel comfortable from the first day I walked in as I never once felt awkward even as giants worked out around me.

I got to know Nancy especially well. As the early bird I am, most mornings I would arrive at the gym right at opening, often walking in with Nancy as her dog trailed behind. We got to the point where she would text me if she might be a couple minutes late or if the gym was shifting to special hours on any certain day.

I really admired and fed off the energy Nancy would bring through the doors each day. The way she trained her clients was always so positive and the way she taught her classes was inspiring. No, I never actually joined one of Nancy’s classes but she graciously allowed me to perform my stretching/calisthenics routine in the studio when she was teaching them. Nancy’s dedication to her business went beyond body transformation as she focused on things that other gym owners overlook. For example, I can’t tell you how many times I observed Nancy meticulously cleaning the facility during those early mornings. 

Nancy Capp was a very special and kind human being.

To understand the type of person Nancy was, let me offer a quick story. After one workout in 2019, I realized my wedding ring was missing when I jumped into my car. Convinced that I had lost it in the gym, I went back inside and started re-tracing my steps. Nancy helped me turn the whole place over trying to locate it. After coming to terms that I wasn’t going to find it, Nancy assured me that it would turn up as I dejectedly walked out the doors. When I arrived home, I found my wedding ring on the floorboard of my car next to the seatbelt. Ecstatic but also mortified that Nancy spent so much energy trying to find a ring that wasn’t even in her gym to begin with, I called to tell her the news.

When she answered the phone and I told her I found it, she didn’t care that I wasted her time. Rather, she celebrated with me.

I was still a member when the transition from Gold’s Gym to Iron Legacy Gym transpired. The name changed but the heart and soul of the place didn’t. Eventually, my family moved out west in early 2020 and I had to say goodbye to the Capps. I let them know how much I appreciated their hospitality and that I would miss them.

When the Capps changed the name from Gold’s Gym to Iron Legacy Gym, the heart and soul of the place remained untouched. And of course, Nancy was still Nancy 🙂.

Over the past six years, we have made a handful of trips back to Myrtle Beach to visit my wife’s family. My priority list on those trips was always the same…

1. Spend time with Sid’s family
2. Attend mass at St. Andrew
3. Train at Iron Legacy 💪🏻
4. Everything else

Walking through the door and semi-surprising Nancy was always a joy. Catching up with her was even better. Just like with the gym itself, Nancy never seemed to change.

When I was a member at Iron Legacy in the late 2010s, Nancy would always text me if she was running late or hours were changing. After my family moved out west, she would still reply to my text messages when we came back to visit.

Just this past August, my family visited Myrtle Beach for a week at the beginning of the month. I had the blessing (and I truly mean that) to train at Iron Legacy on Aug. 6 and Aug. 7. When I pulled up bright and early that Thursday morning, Nancy was getting out of her car—just like old times. We walked in together and she got me set up with a visitor’s pass at a highly discounted rate. As we caught up, she told me about an appointment she was going to later that day.

The next morning I followed up with Nancy at the end of my workout. I asked her how yesterday went. She told me the news. We talked for a long time. I told her I would pray.

When I walked out those welcoming Iron Legacy doors that morning, I knew it might be the last time I saw Nancy. Sadly, that possibility proved correct. I learned about her passing reading the beautiful tributes of gym members I had met while training at Iron Legacy back in the late 2010s. Although not surprised by the news, I was very saddened.

Nancy Capp was a humble servant who I will always remember for how she treated me and for that smile (photo courtesy of Iron Legacy Gym).

In my mortal mind, Nancy was taken too soon. It is tough to see such a kind, purpose-driven person who epitomized a beacon of health pass at a relatively young age. But inspired by Nancy’s own rock-solid Christian faith, I trust in God regarding the timing.

Nancy Capp will be remembered as a humble servant who put others before her self. Personally, I will remember her as a positive and gentle influence who treated me the exact same way she treated the bodybuilders, celebrities, and fitness models who frequented her incredible gym. Perhaps the Capp family might consider one final name change for the business at 951 Jason Blvd: Iron Legacy Gym ➡️ Nancy Legacy Gym.

Please pray for the repose of Nancy’s soul. I consider myself extremely blessed that I knew her. Don’t Blink.