Long before Sidney gave birth to Sloan, she told me numerous times what her first words to her daughter would be: Happy Birthday.

Although Sloan’s delivery didn’t go 100% according to plan, Sid was still able to make good on what she had envisioned for so long. With Sloan nestled in Sid’s arms, mommy wished daughter a happy birthday. On Saturday, Sid will be able to once again greet Sloan the same way.

Sidney was able to tell Sloan exactly what she had planned to.

Sloan’s birthday is important to both Sid and I. The date is etched in our hearts and is a major milestone for our daughter. As parents, the date is a big deal.

However, at the gym this morning I had a thought that hit me hard. Sloan’s birthday must carry with it so much more significance for Sidney than for me. In fact, I realized that this deeper meaning must be true for all moms when compared to fathers.

It is not that I am insensitive. I like to think there isn’t anything I cherish more than Sloan’s birthday. But, try as I may, March 17 will simply mean more to Sid than me. Here is why…

As I mentioned above, Sloan’s birthday is a milestone for us as parents. It marks the beginning of our daughter’s life. However, for Sidney, as a mom, Sloan’s birthday marks the ending of all the hard work, discomfort, and pressure that came with carrying a child. Likewise, Sloan’s birthday also marks the end of the extremely special relationship that a mom has with her unborn child while he/she is inside of her.

It never occurred to me until this morning that Sloan’s birthday is a cause for Sidney to celebrate not just a beginning but an end. Strong emotions and memories come from both vantage points. As a dad, I can only imagine how Sid feels. Sure, I rode shotgun on the nine month journey with Sid but there is no way I could ever truly know how it must have felt to be in the driver’s seat with a baby inside of me.

Sid’s words will once again carry love and meaning when she wishes Sloan a happy birthday on Saturday. My words will too, just not to the degree of my wife. Don’t Blink.

We have reached a very important stretch of the month. It is Sloan’s birthday week! As we countdown the days until she turns 1, I thought I would countdown my 10 favorite moments from her first year. Some of the moments on this list are specific while others are more abstract. You will see what I mean.

10. Color Me Pink – Sidney and I switch off waking up with Sloan on the weekends. One morning on my day to sleep in, I awoke to Sidney walking in the bedroom with a pink fur ball in her arms. It took me a couple seconds to become fully conscious and for my eyes to focus. Once I was alert, I could see that my sweet baby daughter was dressed as a flamingo! Making this scene even better was the fact that Sloan had a smile on her face. Sid surprised me by having Sloan model her Halloween costume and it was the best way to wake up.

This is a photo from that exact morning when Sid/Sloan surprised me with the flamingo costume. Made my day!

9. Swaddle Off, Arms Up – During the first several months of Sloan’s life, we would swaddle her before she went to sleep. When our little darling woke up in the morning, we would remove the swaddle and her tiny arms would shoot right up as she closed her eyes and stretched so hard. It was adorable!

Watching Sloan stretch after we took off her swaddle was always rewarding.

 8. That Face Though – My heart just about melted. Sloan was probably 2 weeks old and Sid was finishing up bathing her. I was in the living room when I heard Sid sweetly say “Daddy…”. I looked up as my wife walked out the bedroom door toward me in the living room. Sid was holding Sloan who was wrapped tight in a swaddle. I held out my arms and Sid handed over that small, sweet, fresh smelling baby. This is what I remember the most: Sloan was sucking on a large, clear pacifier that seemed to take up half her tiny face. Her cheeks moved out and in as she sucked away. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen and a moment I will never forget.

 7. Late Nights/Early Mornings With My Girls – During those first couple months of Sloan’s life, she would wake up a couple times during the night. Sid and I both insisted on getting up with her. We would sit in the dark living room and feed her while we watched music videos (before Sloan’s addiction to BabyFirst TV). The music would slowly soothe her back to sleep as her parents admired their cherished daughter. It was a great way for the three of us to bond while also giving us parents a comprehensive education of the Billboard Top 40 landscape.

Watching music videos and hanging with Sloan.

6. All Eyes On Us – I will never forget the spiritual feeling I felt in my heart when I took Sloan to church alone for the first time. She was an angel the entire mass, leading up to the special moment when she and I walked down the aisle to receive Holy Eucharist. In those seconds, I felt the entire assembly look at us as we walked toward the priest. It was a surreal moment and I could sense God telling me that I must always love and protect my special girl.

This was Sloan and I after that special mass in May.

5. Those First Few Days – After Sidney and Sloan were released from the hospital, we returned home. However, we didn’t go back to an empty house. Sidney’s family helped us out for several days as we adjusted to our incredible blessing. We all ate dinners together and my mother-in-law taught me how to care for a baby. Sloan was so warmly welcomed to the Mathis family and I learned so much during those initial days.

The early days with Sloan were special. Luckily we had Sid’s family to share them with us.

4. Meet Your West Coast Admirers – In 2017, I didn’t have more fun than I did on July 15. This was when we threw a joint 60th birthday party for my mom and dad. We had a huge party as relatives, neighbors, and friends converged on my parents’ backyard to celebrate. Throughout that afternoon, we were able to showoff Sloan to so many people who up until that point had only seen her in photos. She stole the show and I was so proud.

Sloan met close to 60 people that day. Here is a photo of her with my aunts, my dad, and her cousin.

3. She Really Loves Us – I told a story a few weeks ago about when Sid and I returned from an overnight weekend trip to Charlotte. When we picked up Sloan at our in-law’s house, she greeted us by wildly clapping her hands and smiling ear-to-ear. Nothing is sweeter. Although Sidney and I don’t always get an applause from Sloan when we pick her up from daycare or take her out of her crib in the morning, we always get at least a beautiful little smile that makes us feel so valued and special. We treasure each of these special little moments.

Having this face constantly look at us with joy is one of the best parts about being a parent.

2. Sloan’s Baptism – No other moment can beat June 25, 2017. How could it? On that afternoon, Sloan was cleansed of sin and welcomed into the Church. Her baptism took place in front of family and a few close friends. I held her throughout the ceremony and although she was physically light, I felt the weight of the role I now had to play in making sure she grows up to be a child of God. Within that half hour, Sloan’s life changed for the better and I believe the angels sang with happiness. I have moments ingrained in my head from that day and I always replay them when we go to mass at St. Andrew and walk past the baptismal font.

Sloan’s baptism was beautiful.

1. Happy Birthday, Sloan! – St. Patrick’s Day no longer stands out in my mind as a time to wear green and to remember the patron saint of Ireland. Rather, it will forever be remembered as the best day of my life (along with when I married Sidney). After a tumultuous labor process, Sloan joined us in this world at 2:44 p.m. on March 17, 2017. Life became more important and I knew I would never be the same person again. Our baby girl was healthy and happy, the absolute greatest blessing in the world. Although no single moment can technically beat her baptism, the numerous moments that came together to produce the center of our world on that March day will never be topped.

The greatest day of my life.

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It has been a year filled with moments we will always hold in our hearts. Thank you, Sloan. I hope you enjoy your birthday week. Don’t Blink.

Last week, I discussed my quirky food duos. In the post, I mentioned that I regularly drop an ice cube or two into a cup of soup before I eat it. I do this to cool it down because I love soup way too much to burn my tongue and develop a negative connotation.

How far does my enjoyment of soup go? Believe it or not, I once went on a diet that consisted of Campbell’s Chunky Soup (it worked!). So, because I mentioned soup last week and because I have shockingly never counted down my favorite soup varieties before, I thought I would do that tonight.

Honorable Mention: Italian Wedding – I will never turn down a cup of Italian wedding soup. Not only do you get to scarf down mini meatballs, but you also get a complete serving of your green vegetables as well. Add pasta to it and you have a soup with much going on. Out of all the soups on this list, it is probably the one that I have the opportunity to eat the least so I think it just makes it that much better when I do actually get to enjoy some.

5. Clam Chowder – As someone who doesn’t get too excited about seafood, you might be shocked that I included clam chowder on my list. However, I grew up on it. My family’s (mom’s side) Italian restaurant, the Pastime Café, served clam chowder on Fridays. Because we would make our trips to Walla Walla at the start of the weekend and because we would always drop in for dinner at the Pastime when we arrived in town, I was offered clam chowder a lot during my younger years. I ate it every single time. As I grew older and the Pastime shut its doors, I still ordered clam chowder at other restaurants. Although not my all-time favorite soup, it is a taste of my childhood and deserves a spot on the countdown.

4. Chili – Calling chili a soup reminds me of the “Is a hot dog a sandwich?” question. I think it straddles the line between a soup and its own separate dish but I am counting it as the former for this blog post. As a guy who loves spicy food and meat, chili is the perfect combination for me. Pairing a big bowl of chili with chips or cornbread is dynamite. I think it is cool that chili can be made so many different ways and that every town seems to host a chili cook off competition. Chicken chili, white chili, even beanless chili – I love it all (except for maybe vegetarian chili).

3. Butternut Squash Soup – Flavor flavor flavor! While the other soups on this list have a chunky texture because meats, veggies, and pasta comprise them, butternut squash soup is known for its smoothness. You aren’t enjoying this soup for its ingredients, you are enjoying it simply for the taste. I love the buttery and rich flavor of this soup. It is the pumpkin pie that is served before the main course. If you have the chance on an October or November brisk evening to enjoy a bowl, make sure you savor every drop.

2. Potato Soup – Nothing says “winter comfort dish” more than potato soup. There is no better way to warm the soul than with a piping hot bowl of potato soup served on a dark, snowy day. Creamy broth and chunks of potato go down easy and taste so good. Potato soup is the one variety on this list that you can confidently serve as a meal itself. Sprinkle a little cheese on the top and you have it made!

1. Pasta Fagioli – For those who don’t know, pasta fagioli is a classic Italian staple. It is basically pasta in soup form. I have told the story before, but my mom had to convince me when I was younger that I liked it by “re-branding” it as Button Soup, a dish in one of my favorite children’s books. But as I grew older, I liked it so much that I finally just started calling it by its actual name. My mom still makes big pots of pasta fagioli and she will jokingly text me and tell me to “come on over and get a bowl.” Although I can’t serve myself some of my mom’s version (a recipe that has been in the family for generations), I always order it when I get the chance at the Olive Garden. If you haven’t tried it, you have no idea what you are missing (make sure to top it with plenty of parmesan cheese!).

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As I said last week, when given the option at a restaurant, I will take a cup of soup over a salad any day! If you have a soup that I need to try, please let me know, I will definitely be down to test it out. Don’t Blink.

From time to time, I always like to offer tips on how newly married couples can grow and thrive during their first year of marriage. Notice how I don’t term it as “advice” but rather simply “tips.” As Sid and I near our second wedding anniversary, I am in no position to offer advice. However, I feel I can bring a couple pointers to the table when it comes to young couples who are embarking on that exciting first year.

My tip tonight is straight forward and simple. It is important to develop routine.

Introduce some structure to your marriage. Officially starting your life off with someone can seem overwhelming. With so many expectations hanging over your heads in that first year, you might ask yourself where do I start? I suggest taking a step back by concentrating on the basics. Instead of stressing over making a big purchase or devising a timeline of when you want to complete milestones, start small. Set a time for the two of you to eat dinner each night; find a show on TV that you both like and can look forward to during the day; loosely plan your lives a month at a time.

Take it from Sid and I, it is good to have simple structre your first year of marriage.

Each Sunday, Sidney and I brainstorm what we will eat each night for dinner that week. We will then go to the supermarket and buy groceries based on those meals. We eat between 6:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m. each night and always sit down with each other and talk about our days. Doing this increases our planning skills and helps us to be disciplined at the grocery store. More importantly, it secures an hour for us each night to unwind and spend quality time together.

With so many television choices these days, both on cable and via streaming devices, it is virtually guaranteed that you can find something that both you and your spouse will like. If Sidney and I, who have dramatically different tastes when it comes to TV, are able to find common ground with a couple programs then you and your sweetheart can too! We watch Jeopardy every weeknight at 7:30 p.m. and there is always one or two weekly shows we make sure not to miss as well. By having a show or two that you can call your own, you set yourself up for not only special time with your loved one but discussion time as well. Although Sid and I might not talk much during “This Is Us,” we surely have an open dialogue about it from the moment it ends at 10 p.m. all the way until 8:59 p.m. the following Tuesday when the next episode is about to start.

It is foolish to plan that entire first year out. However, it makes more sense and is much more manageable to take it a month at a time. In our kitchen, we have a big monthly calendar. At the beginning of each new month, we fill it out with the major events of the next four weeks. Because the calendar is in such a prominent spot, we see it every day and don’t lose track of appointments, birthdays, church functions, or social engagements coming up. Most of the time, I jot down the events that come to my head first. Sid then swoops in and adds hers. Doing this reinforces our family identity and ensures that we don’t forget anything.

Don’t get me wrong, that first year of marriage shouldn’t be all about rigid structure. You need to have some spontaneity as well – take it from us, we had a baby before we celebrated our first wedding anniversary! But that topic is for my marriage-related post. Until then, take time to sit down with your partner and do some basic planning, it will help build the foundation of your young marriage. Don’t Blink.