On Saturday, I was all over the place. Both kids had sporting events, I dropped Sloan off at a baby shower that Sid was hosting, I attended a work event, and more. At one point in the middle of the day, it was just Beau and me in the car. I was taking him to his t-ball game where before he played there was an entire hour allotted for team photos. With it being midday, I figured we both needed a little bit of nourishment before we spent a couple hours at the fields on an unseasonably warm April day.

I made the executive decision to order us a couple corn dogs from Zip’s. If you aren’t from the Inland Northwest and are unfamiliar with Zip’s, all I can say is this: I feel sorry for you.

But even if you have never had the pleasure of dining at Zip’s, I know everyone reading this blog post can appreciate the magic of eating a corn dog. About 6.5 years ago, I wrote an ode to corn dogs. I recognized the culinary delight for its taste, ingenuity, and convenience. However, I did briefly grumble about the only drawback I could pinpoint…

The stick.

When Beau and I ate our corn dogs this past weekend, the limitation hit me once again. In fact, I took a photo of my corn dog the moment the thought struck me.

After I took one bite I knew I was already close to the stick. I thought, “There has to be a better way.”

Sorry, but the stick on a corn dog is pretty annoying. For most corn dog consumers, you just get two bites—perhaps just one—before you have to start navigating the stick. Once it is poking out, you have to put the stick in your mouth to continue eating the corn dog and hope that it doesn’t poke the roof of your mouth.

Sloan eating a corn dog in 2018.

The thing is, the stick does serve a purpose. What partially (or perhaps mostly) makes a corn dog so good is its grease. If a corn dog was stick-less, your hands would be a greasy, oily mess…unless of course you violated the entire essence of what makes a corn dog special and ate it with a fork. And you call yourself a corn dog fan?

So I would like to propose a solution tonight. What does the world feel about creating a corn dog with an edible stick? Just imagine: No longer would you have to navigate around a stick. Instead, you would have the freedom of eating the corn dog one chomp at a time in perfect symmetry as you begin at the top and enjoy all the way down.

I know this would take some thought and culinary technology but it can’t be that hard, could it? If ice cream has a cone and taco salad has a shell, something could be paired with a corn dog, right? The stick could be meat-based, perhaps made with the same durability/consistency of jerky. Or what about a hard, thin bread stick?

Okay, I am asking a lot of questions. Here is where I ask my readers for help. If you are supportive of an edible corn dog stick, how could it be pulled off?

An edible corn dog stick wouldn’t just make the eating experience more pleasant. It would also cut down on waste and eliminate the problem of children sword fighting with sharp sticks. Are you with me?! Don’t Blink.