Learning About Marriage From Bishop William Skylstad

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This past Saturday I had the blessing of listening to one of my early Catholic role models speak to a small group of us at St. Mary Catholic Church.

Bishop William Skylstad, who led the Spokane Diocese from 1990-2010 while also serving as President of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, devoted his morning to speaking to our small group about marriage.

As some of you know, Sidney and I provide Pre-Cana/marriage prep counseling to engaged couples. We received this incredible opportunity from Fr. Jeff Lewis, our pastor at St. Mary Catholic Church. Although we should be the ones thanking Fr. Jeff for this blessing, he wanted to thank all sponsor couples in our parish with this exclusive audience with Bishop Skylstad.

I was a mere few feet from Bishop William Skylstad on November, 18, 2023, at St. Mary Catholic Church in the Spokane Valley.

During our three-hour visit with the 89-year-old Bishop Emeritus, he touched on many marital points and freely distributed advice while focusing on three themes: “The Call,” sacrament, and communication. Although I could recap the intricacies of this trio of topics, I just wanted to touch on three of the finer points he made…

– Help make your spouse who they are made to be. We can become so focused on trying to change our wife/husband according to our own ideal on how we think they should be. Instead, it should be our mission and duty to help our spouse realize their true, authentic self that was molded by God.

– Communication is key in marriage but realize what it is comprised of. Bishop Skylstad said that 60% of marital communication is conveyed nonverbally, 20% is through tone of voice, and the remainder is the actual content. I can say unequivocally that Bishop is right. Sid and I can say whatever we want to each other but if it is expressed in a way that doesn’t match our nonverbal cues than it will fall on deaf ears.

– We don’t love/preach from perfection, we love/preach from redemption. Bishop Skylstad said numerous times during Saturday morning that no marriage is perfect. We can’t become discouraged when we encounter obstacles in our marriages but we must learn from them and grow from them.

A look at our group huddled inside St. Mary Catholic Church in the Spokane Valley just a few moments before Bishop William Skylstad started his third talk.

Thank you, Bishop Skylstad, for your precious time. What an honor it was to be mere feet from the man I usually saw on the news or from afar in packed churches. Don’t Blink.

Heading to Myrtle Beach for Thanksgiving

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It will be a memorable Thanksgiving for sure!

After nearly two years, we are returning to Myrtle Beach for this special holiday week. The four of us are at the Spokane Airport and ready to fly through the night skies to the other side of the country. By early morning we will be in South Carolina.

I know Sidney is excited to return to the place she was born and raised. Sloan and Beau are ready to see their east coast grandparents, aunts, and uncles AND play with their cousins! I am looking forward to stepping foot on the Grand Strand soil that provided me with too many blessings to count.

We are at the Spokane Airport waiting to depart to the east coast.

Yes, it will be awesome to spend a holiday that is epitomized by family with my wife’s family. We have a lot of catching up to do and can’t wait to spend quality time with them.

The trip will also allow us to worship at the parish where both our children were baptized. Additionally, we will take some time to hang with friends who are forever special to us. Oh yeah, we might also be hitting up some spots that can whip up certain delicacies that we just can’t get out here in Washington.

So here we go…just 3,000 short miles separate us from sunny (or rainy) Myrtle Beach. I hear these pilots want to fly fast tonight. Please pray for a safe journey. Don’t Blink.

Chicago Thursday Rundown

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If you notice a couple extra typos and grammar mistakes in tonight’s post you can chalk it up to jet lag. I am still trying to adjust after arriving back home from Chicago yesterday afternoon. So as long as you can tolerate that, let’s proceed with my latest five topics.

Hello, Chicago – What better way to really feel like you are in Chicago than to have this view from your hotel room? Each night I went to bed I marveled at the hustle and bustle of Downtown Chicago seemingly right beneath me. On the two full days we were there, I also found a couple moments to sit on the chair by the window and just really soak in the magnificent Chi-Town scene while listening to my “Catechism In A Year” podcast. So much appreciation and energy!

A look at the view of Downtown Chicago from my hotel room.

Ice Cream Museum – On Monday night, one of the vendors at the AMA Higher Ed Symposium hosted a social at the Ice Cream Museum in Chicago. They had me at “ice cream” as I told Cara that we HAD TO go. The museum was decorated in a way that made it a selfie paradise. It also boasted plenty of ice cream trivia, a sprinkle “swimming pool,” and unlimited ice cream. The Ice Cream Museum was definitely the cherry on top of a fabulous day in which Cara and I presented earlier. Thanks to Open Fortune for hosting us.

A few shots from our Ice Cream Museum experience in Chicago.

Deep Dish – Besides ice cream, I also had the chance to eat famous Chicago deep dish pizza. Cara and I went to Giordano’s on Sunday night as I ordered a chicken pesto pie. Because deep dish pizza takes a little longer to cook than other pizzas, it gave us time to soak in the restaurant’s busy atmosphere and to watch the Seahawks defeat the Commanders on a last-second field goal.

On Sunday night we ate deep dish pizza at Giordarno’s.

Taylor Swift Experience For Sloan – This past Saturday Sloan was over the moon stoked when she was invited to go to the movies to see “Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour.” Adding to the excitement was that our friend, Fidela, asked her to go. Fidela is the same friend that went with Sid to the Jonas Brothers concert and someone who Sloan looks up to. Our daughter made it through the entire three-hour movie and loved every moment of it. Thanks for taking her, Fidela!

Sloan walking into the theater to watch the Taylor Swift movie.

Baby Poll – This showed up in my Timehop from seven years ago and it just reminded me of an exciting time. We were close to learning Sloan’s gender and my University Marketing and Communication colleagues at Coastal Carolina University decided to create this poll. How can you not notice the “social media” onesie they included on the sheet? Interestingly enough, the office sided with “boy” by a 10-9 vote. Sloan had other ideas.

This was the baby poll that my office did while working at Coastal Carolina University in 2016.

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That will wrap things up for this Chicago-themed rundown. I may be back from the Midwest but things are just going to get even busier. Hold on! Don’t Blink.

Crushing It In Chicago: Our 2023 AMA Higher Ed Experience

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The stage was bigger and the pressure a little greater at this year’s American Marketing Association’s Symposium for the Marketing of Higher Education. The AMA organizers didn’t hesitate to point out a couple impressive facts. First, it was the largest AMA Higher Ed Symposium in the history of the event. This year’s conference eclipsed 1,500 people! Second, and perhaps even more daunting, was the acceptance rate for speaking proposals: Just a mere 11% of the proposed sessions submitted for the conference were accepted. And with such a slim acceptance rate, you could imagine that the organizers had no problem reiterating that all sessions would be amazing.

A lot to live up to, right?

On Monday, Cara Hoag and I presented “Not Your Parents’ YouTube” to a 300-person packed conference room in the Sheraton Grand Chicago. We came prepared.

Cara and I presented “Not Your Parents’ YouTube” on November 13, 2023, at 3:45 p.m.

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This AMA speaking opportunity was a little different from my previous two. When it came to this year’s conference, I had both experience under my belt and control over our presentation. In 2019 I was an AMA newcomer and when I presented last year I was collaborating with co-presenters from different states. So to be an AMA vet and to have the luxury of serving as the project manager for this go-around was fantastic.

After submitting our proposal in April and receiving news of our acceptance in June, Cara and I dialed ourselves in from August through November to prepare for our presentation. Over the course of that timespan, the two of us strategically spaced out the selection of content, outline of the presentation, construction of slides, rehearsals, and implementation of feedback. Because of our planning and pacing, we were prepared and confident when our plane touched down in Chicago on Sunday afternoon.

But that’s not to say that I still don’t get nervous. 😊

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Because of preparation, a crowd-pleasing intro video, and rich content our presentation went off without a hitch and was enthusiastically received. We had the pleasure of answering questions that reached the double digits during our allotted session time and then were swarmed at the stage afterwards with more questions. It was gratifying to field inquiries from major institutions like the University of Florida, Clemson, and Oklahoma State about how we managed to transform our YouTube channel from a lifeless communications landing spot into a Gen-Z marketing vehicle.

Cara and I all smiles after we answered the final question that put a cap on our AMA Symposium for the Marketing of Higher Ed presentation.

Cara and I both breathed a sigh of relief that our presentation was scheduled for Monday. Not only did it ensure that more marketers could attend our presentation (attendance tends to dwindle on Tuesday and Wednesday) but it also allowed us to relax for the rest of the conference. Presenting on Monday relieves the presentation burden that no one wants to carry deep into the symposium. Also, presenting early allows other people who attended the presentation to approach us with questions they weren’t able to ask while we were on the stage. And, not going to lie, it is kind of nice to feel like a low-key celebrity.

Being a speaker at a big conference can bring a lot of anxiety. It is preferred to present early so the burden is eased.

Our AMA experience wouldn’t be possible if not for others. Thank you to the AMA Higher Ed committee for choosing us out of so many proposals and to AMA manager Christine Lucenta for helping us with logistics both prior to/during the conference.

Big thank you to our boss Holly Sitzmann for helping us with our proposal and for giving us honest feedback when we rehearsed for her. Much appreciation to our creative director Eric Limburg for creating our Powerpoint template. Our presentation would not have been the same without the intro video produced by Andrew Botterbusch of Peak Visuals. And, most important of all, thanks to our #WSU video team for making the topic of our presentation even possible. If it wasn’t for the talent, effort, and buy-in from Jason Refsland, Kara Billington, Rhynne Lee, and Devon Lockard-Dodd (along with WSU video staffers before them), our YouTube re-launch would not have been possible.

Last but not least, I would like to give a special thank you to Cara Hoag. It was such a pleasure to work with her throughout the entire process. We made a strong team and she did such an incredible job while presenting. There is nothing better than having a partner who is the ultimate team player, dependable, and talented.

What an honor it was to present with Cara Hoag. She made me look good.

I am leaving Chicago happy and fulfilled. It is always good to step outside your comfort zone and show what you know. I think it is safe to say that Cara and I made the most out of our opportunity. Don’t Blink.

Big Brother 25 Final Thoughts

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It was a 100-day marathon “Big Brother” season and you better believe that Sidney and I were dialed in for the entire thing. The 25th season of the storied reality show brought with it some decent gameplay and interesting storylines so let me just highlight a couple of my thoughts.

It was another fun season watching “Big Brother” with Sid. The final three was a pretty loyal group.

First, unfortunately for me, I didn’t really have a dog in the fight after Cameron was evicted. Although he wasn’t one of my favorites to begin with (in fact, I didn’t really care for him too much), the dude grew on me. By the time my initial fav houseguests were evicted, Cameron was my guy. After he was booted, I went through the last several weeks of the season without someone I was passionately rooting for.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I didn’t find myself strongly disliking anyone either. I wasn’t a Hisam fan but he was evicted early so his personality wasn’t able to test m patience over the course of three-plus months.

I think something that stands out about this season was the many floaters who lasted until the final weeks of the game. It seemed to me that this season lacked strong, savvy competitors…at least those that made it deep. To those houseguests who I think floated their way through their time in the Big Brother house, perhaps it was all strategy but I feel I can tell a difference between strategic gameplay and general weakness.

Speaking of gameplay, let me address the winner and runner up. Congrats to Jag! I really admired his loyalty to Matt and the fact that he played the game with integrity. He was a solid and likeable player. However, I had a tough time rationalizing how he could be voted the champ based on the fact that he had already been unanimously evicted. But credit Jag for taking the second opportunity and absolutely making the most of it.

Before finale night, there was no doubt in my mind that Matt deserved to win. As the guy who was a competition beast with a superb social game even though he was at a distinct disadvantage because of his disability, I thought he overwhelmingly deserved the $750,000. But I had no choice but to agree with the jury’s final decision because Matt didn’t show up when it came time to defend his game. He couldn’t satisfactorily answer the questions the jury asked and his final statement fell well short. It was tough to watch the Big Brother 25 title slip through his grasp.

As for the intangibles: I never really understood nor appreciated the Multiverse theme. The twist with Cirie and Jared was a lot of fun and I loved the reactions of the houseguests when Julie told them the secret. I didn’t mind the fact that this season was a little longer nor that it started later in the calendar year than usual. I sincerely hope that next season there isn’t another instance of someone saying something stupid that causes a big controversy.

Thanks to my wife for watching another season with me while putting up with my unsolicited commentary 😂. It looks like “Big Brother” has some type of holiday spinoff coming up in December that I imagine we will give a chance. Until then, expect the unexpected. Don’t Blink.

In Chicago For AMA Speaking Opportunity

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As I write this, I am about to depart on the first leg of a flight itinerary that will take me to a familiar conference in a new place where I will do something that never gets old.

I am on my way to Chicago where I will present at the American Marketing Association’s Symposium for the Marketing of Higher Education. This will be my second consecutive speaking opportunity at AMA as I presented at the 2022 conference in National Harbor and my third overall as I also presented at the 2019 conference in Las Vegas.

I am thrilled and honored to speak at the 2023 AMA Symposium for the Marketing of Higher Ed.

However, this won’t be a rinse and repeat exercise. After presenting with colleagues from two other Pac-12 schools and TikTok in 2022, I will share the stage on Monday with my very own co-worker and friend, Cara Hoag. The two of us will present about how our WSU University Marketing and Communications team transformed our YouTube channel from a communications platform into a Gen Z-first marketing tool. It has been a lot of fun working with Cara the past few months on this presentation and we are looking forward to delivering it to the brightest minds in our industry.

Can’t wait to present with Cara Hoag on Monday.

The conference is taking place at the Sheraton Grand Chicago Riverwalk as I am psyched to visit one of our country’s largest and most famous cities. It is in this heart of downtown Chicago where I will have the opportunity to learn about the latest trends in higher ed marketing, catch up with friends in the industry, meet new university marketing professionals, and of course leave it all on the stage when Cara and I present on Monday afternoon. I also plan to at least get a peek of what Chicago looks like outside the walls of the Sheraton Grand.

Looking forward to learning and presenting at the Chicago Sheraton.

If you are attending this conference, make sure to check out “Not Your Parents’ YouTube” by Cara Hoag and Brent Reser at 3:45 p.m. on Monday, Nov. 13. If you are a regular Don’t Blink reader and couldn’t care less about higher ed marketing, you can still send good vibes our way 😉. Thanks to Washington State University for this opportunity! Don’t Blink.

Jonas Brothers Thursday Rundown

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Hopefully by now you have adjusted to the time change and your internal clock isn’t too messed up to comprehend a Thursday Rundown. It should help that I write at about a second grade level 😊 Okay, here we go with tonight’s five topics…

Taylor Swift Book – Okay, how was this book even available at the library? I figured it would have been on like a 34-week hold or something. Also, I thought the Little Golden Book series was just reserved for Disney stories and other wholesome content. Nonetheless, you better believe Sloan wanted us to check this Taylor Swift book out. It actually wasn’t that bad, it covered a lot of Swift’s upbringing and had some good messages in it (but nothing about her relationship with Travis Kelce).

We checked out this Taylor Swift book and read it on Tuesday night.

Jonas Brothers – From one massive entertainer to the next, Sidney had the opportunity to attend the Jonas Brothers concert in the Spokane Arena on Tuesday night. She was literally counting down the days until the show and had been playing Jonas Brothers music for months. My sister along with our friend, Fidela, jammed out with Sid throughout the four-hour concert. Upon her arrival home, I didn’t even mind when Sidney woke me up at 12:30 a.m. to tell me she had an incredible time at the concert because I was so happy she had such a memorable experience.

Fidela, Sidney, and Miranda at the Jonas Brother’s concert.

Pre K-3 Artwork – When I dropped Beau off at school the other day, I noticed this turkey on the bulletin board. Each 3-year-old has a feather with what they are thankful for on it. Beau’s entry? Mommy, daddy, sister, grandma, and Papa’s cat. Sorry dad, hope you don’t take it too personal that Muffin was mentioned before you.

A look at the “thankful turkey” that Beau’s class did.

Netflix Weekly Pick – The movie I caught this week was “No Hard Feelings.” To reduce the plot to its very basics, a mom and dad hire an older woman to “date” their son before he goes off to college. I was pretty surprised that Jennifer Lawrence, who played the “older woman,” took the role. With that said, my takeaway from the film is how versatile Lawrence is as an actress. Whether it be “Hunger Games,” “Serena,” or a cringy movie like this one, she can embrace any role with complete commitment.

“No Hard Feelings” wasn’t a very good film but Jennifer Lawrence once again proves her acting chops.

Feeling Symmetrical – Today marks the three-year anniversary of when Beau finished his helmet therapy. Beau wore the helmet for four months to correct a slightly misshapen head. When the headgear came off for good, our son’s head was perfectly symmetrical, a tribute to modern day medical technology and a stringent “helmet on” schedule we adhered to. The video I made about Beau’s helmet is still my most-viewed TikTok video.

This was Beau’s last day in his helmet.

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That will conclude things for tonight. I have a very busy next several days but that is for another blog post. Have a great weekend, everyone. Don’t Blink.

Work Smarter, Not Harder

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One way I have evolved over time in both my personal and professional capacities is my approach to projects and output. In my late teens and probably for most of my 20s, I was someone who tried to bulldoze through assignments and projects by completing them in a long, continuous fashion. I would devote hours to the task at hand by pulling all-nighters, slugging energy drinks, and not pulling myself away until I was done.

Mind you, I never was a last-minute person. I would tackle these projects way before deadlines but once I got started I wouldn’t let myself stop. I took the old Ben Franklin adage of “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today” to an extreme. It was a combination of my Type A personality and stubbornness but it wasn’t conducive to producing my best effort.

Sorry to throw out a cliche but I have learned to work smarter and not necessarily harder.

As I worked more in a professional setting and saw the proper way to manage projects I started to see the light. Quality work shines brighter when it is produced in a sustained, logical way rather than through a 10-hour marathon of non-stop work. I started applying this model, which I learned in the context of team projects, to my pursuits both in and out of the office.

I am convinced that the brain works best focusing on tasks for short bursts of time rather than extended cram sessions. Also, work must be reviewed constantly. If you are doing a little bit each day it becomes more manageable and realistic to evaluate your output rather than if you plow through something in a single night. A fresh mind can simply produce and review work at a much more advanced level than a fatigued one.

The work smarter, not harder cliché definitely has merit. Over time I have turned away from working on something for hours on end and embraced a more strategic and less-taxing approach. In fact, the way that I now tackle projects is something that I would consider a strength of mine. Don’t Blink.

Nacho Bar!

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As we enter the season of get-togethers, potlucks, office parties, and Christmas cheer gatherings, I would like to offer a suggestion for the portion of these shindigs that is ultra important: the food.

If you are hosting something over the next couple months, consider a nacho bar. This idea isn’t exactly novel in the catering world as I am sure we have all enjoyed a nacho bar at a conference or work seminar, but perhaps you might be inclined to take a chance and bring it into your own kitchen.

Nachos are so good!

To make it work, I think you would need to start by having shredded cheese already melted onto the chips and placed into paper boats. But from there, the creativity of your guests can take hold. Toppings such as nacho cheese, meat, beans, and veggies would then be offered. You could then have a section devoted to salsas, hot sauces, and other condiments. To complete the spread you could then offer some more obscure options such as blue cheese crumbles, garlic seasoning, bacon bits, etc.

Of course this is on my mind because today is National Nachos Day. If you have followed Don’t Blink for at least a half decade, you know my love for this very American fare. In 2018 I wrote about how Sid and I love to make homemade nachos. They work great for Friday nights or to throw together while watching a game. However, until this point, I haven’t been bold enough to suggest an actual nacho bar.

Sidney and I love to make nachos together.

But whether you go to that extreme or not, perhaps tonight is the best time to get with your significant other and cook up your own nacho creation. Hopefully you don’t that that idea is too cheesy. Don’t Blink.

Saints Alive!

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A few days after dressing up for Halloween, Sloan and Beau put on different costumes. They ditched the witch and Spider-Man garb for something a little bit holier. Our children had the honor of dressing up as saints for the latest St. Mary Family Faith Night this past Saturday. Titled “Saints Alive,” the theme came on the heels of All Saints Day on November 1.

Sloan and a friend make a craft at the St. Mary Family Faith Night on Nov. 4. The theme was “Saints Alive.”

Sloan dressed up as the greatest saint of them all—St. Mary. Sid put the costume together and Sloan proudly carried her baby Jesus throughout the event.

Sloan poses for a photo before we went to Family Faith Night. Sid put together her St. Mary costume.

While Sloan depicted perhaps the most well-known saint, Beau portrayed one of the soon-to-be newest saints. He dressed up as Blessed Carlo, the patron saint of the internet.

Beau dressed up as Blessed Carlo Acutis. The favorite video game of Carlo was Mario Kart and he liked to play soccer. The paper Beau is holding contains a QR code linking to Carlo’s Eucharistic miracles website.

I was in charge of Beau’s costume and was so humbled to put it together. You see, the case of Carlo Acutis is a little different than what most people might think of when they hear the word “saint.” Carlo didn’t live 1,500 years ago, he wasn’t a clergy member, and he wasn’t a martyr. Rather, he was born in 1991, played video games, and liked to kick around the soccer ball.

Blessed Carlo…I mean Beau…throws a stuffed animal at the baskets that are situated in front of St. Francis of Assisi (patron saint of animals) at the St. Mary Family Faith Night.

In other words, he was relatable.

Blessed Carlo is sometimes referred to as “the first millennial saint.”

But just because he is a modern day individual who shared probably many similarities with us doesn’t mean he wasn’t holy to the bone. Carlo converted non-believers and non-practicing people to the faith (including his parents), he stuck up for the meek/vulnerable, and he had an incredible devotion to the Eucharistic among so many other things.

St. Carlo is the patron saint of the internet.

Carlo’s devotion to the Eucharistic spurned a huge part of his legacy. The computer genius documented the many Eucharistic miracles that exist and categorized them into a website. He then helped create panel presentations of these miracles that now travel around the world. Sidney and I have been blessed to see one of Carlo’s displays before.

Carlo Actuis during his beatification mass in 2020.

Like so many other beatified people and saints, Carlo would die young. The grace and bravery with which he handled his bout with leukemia is nothing short of inspiring and holy. When asked about the pain, he simply said “There are people who suffer much more than me.” Carlo died at 15.

Beau reels in a catch at St. Peter’s Fishing Hole.

To have a slated saint like Carlo is so beneficial to my children. When we watched a story on Carlo the other night, tears filled the eyes of Sloan. He not only resonates with my kids, he inspires them to be saints as well. And you know what? He does the same for me, too.

Sloan holds the doll she convinced to play Baby Jesus at the St. Mary Family Faith Night.

Thank you to Marie Bricher and St. Mary Catholic Church for offering such an awesome evening. May all the saints pray for us. Don’t Blink.