Tag Archives: Joe Schroeder

A Marital Lesson I Recently Accepted

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This past weekend, Sidney and I had the blessing of serving at an Engaged Encounter retreat. We teamed up with another couple and a priest to help prepare a group of engaged couples for marriage.

Sid and I presented at our third Engaged Encounter retreat this past weekend.

Throughout the weekend, numerous presentations were given. Sidney and I delivered half of them while our partner couple delivered the other half. The priest participated in all the talks, leveraging everything us couples presented with biblical context, teachings of the Church, and his own personal examples.

For this particular weekend, our presenting team was identical to the first weekend Sid and I attended back in March 2024. We served as Couple A (the “younger” couple), Joe and Natalie Schroeder served as Couple B (the “senior” couple), and Fr. Pat Kerst joined as the weekend priest.

This was our ministry team at the May 2025 Engaged Encounter retreat. After we passed out the certificates of completion to the engaged couples, we posed for this photo. Fr. Pat Kerst is on the far left and Natalie and Joe Schroeder are on the right.

The weekend was full of blessings and special moments. However, I wanted to focus on one specific sentiment conveyed by the Schroeders on the final day of the retreat.

Joe captivated my attention when he said the following to all the soon-to-be husbands in the room: The greatest gift to your family is to prioritize your relationship with your wife.

Joe and Natalie Schroeder present at this past weekend’s Engaged Encounter retreat.

This hit me hard because I usually think and act the opposite. Over the course of my marriage with Sid, I have put our children first, usually believing it to be the right and noble thing to do.

But could my good intentions be misguided? Joe explained that when the relationship between a husband and wife is prioritized before all other earthly relationships, everything else—children, extended families, friends, in-laws—will seamlessly and orderly fall right in line behind it.

Joe and Natalie Schroeder present at a precious Engaged Encounter retreat.

I guess there is a reason why a marriage rooted in the Church is a sacramental bond, right?

Again, in the past I have made it my mission to drop everything for our kids above all else. If it meant Sid and I missed out on time together then so be it! I did this even when my wife preached the same knowledge that Joe delivered over the weekend.

Why am I re-considering my priorities only after a fellow brother-in-Christ mentioned it? After all, Sid has urged this approach for years. However, I don’t think my wife’s past pleas have been made in vain—they simply set the foundation and the Schroeder’s presentation sealed the deal and drove the point home for me.

Joe and Natalie Schroeder are an inspiring couple!

As courageous and intuitive as it might seem to boldly claim that nothing comes before the needs and wants of our children, I need to walk back on that seemingly innate thought. After all, being a parent is not a sacrament—but entering into holy matrimony is. The sacramental bond between Sid and me needs to be prioritized and nourished at all times…or at least most of the time.

Because when it is, our marriage will continue to thrive. And marriages that thrive illuminate the light of God’s love to those gathered around the husband and wife. That is why Joe told the guys that the greatest gift we can give our kids is to prioritize the relationship we have with our wives. When we do this, God’s love is on full display to our children and they come to know, respect, and appreciate the holy bond between their parents.

Although Sidney and I hold positions as leaders/presenters at these Engaged Encounter retreats, we aren’t experts. And because we aren’t experts, that means there is plenty for us to still learn. In addition to Fr. Pat Kerst’s incredible wisdom and the bursts of inspiration I absorbed from the engaged couples, I am especially thankful for the 39 years of marriage that Joe and Natalie Schroeder brought to the table. Even beyond the prioritization of the husband/wife relationship, I learned so much from them this weekend.

It won’t happen overnight because old habits die hard, but I am going to try harder to put Sidney first, even when it doesn’t seem instinctive. Because again, God didn’t institute marriage to play second fiddle to any other relationship on earth. Also, if I truly am trying to do the absolute best for my kids—like the Schroeders said—I need to honor and take care of their mom first. Don’t Blink.

Presenting With My Wife At Engaged Encounter

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This past weekend, Sidney and I strengthened our marital vocation in the most blessed way. We presented at our first Engaged Encounter retreat. 🙏

Many of you know that Sid and I prepare engaged couples within our parish for marriage on an individual basis. But in June 2022, we joined another marriage-based ministry—Engaged Encounter. This is an international Catholic organization that stages weekend-long retreats for engaged couples. Our pastor, Fr. Jeff Lewis, invited us to join the Spokane Diocese chapter.

After a year of attending our Engaged Encounter monthly meetings and serving in support roles at the retreats, we timidly told our chapter’s leadership that we wanted to present at one. In June of 2023, Ric and Cindy Gaunt came to our house and planted the seeds for doing so. They ran us through what was expected, highlighted the presentations we would be responsible for, and provided us the materials to start preparing. We circled the March 1-3 retreat on our calendar!

We told our Engaged Encounter leadership that we wanted to present.

The next eight months passed quickly, with the latter half of those months heavily devoted to Engaged Encounter retreat prep. Sidney and I had to write our presentations, build slide decks, and practice! By the time this past Friday rolled around, although nervous, we were chomping at the bit to present.

The retreat took place at the Immaculate Heart Retreat Center in south Spokane. Although the quarters were a little cramped, I sure enjoyed having the time away with Sid.

Engaged Encounter retreats are presented by two couples and a priest at the Immaculate Heart Retreat Center in south Spokane. There is a senior couple and a junior couple. We served as the junior couple and were paired with an incredible senior couple with 38 years of marriage under their belts—Joe and Natalie Schroeder.

Sidney and I at our Engaged Encounter weekend retreat. After months of preparing, we got to present!

Completing our weekend team was a priest who I had looked up to for a long time. Fr. Pat Kerst, who will celebrate his 34th anniversary of ordination in May, sacrificed a busy Lenten weekend at his home parish of St. Thomas More to serve at this retreat. As a boy, I would listen to him say mass at St. Francis of Assisi in Walla Walla while I sat in the pew with my grandparents (a decade later he would preside at my grandma’s funeral). During my last couple years in Myrtle Beach I would listen to a podcast he contributed to. By the time I moved back to Spokane, he was the pastor at my parents’ home parish. Known for his personal and impactful preaching style, Sidney and I knew we would have to bring our “A” games to keep up with him.

We had 13 couples attend our retreat weekend, a healthy number for the current state of the Engaged Encounter ministry in eastern Washington. It was a lot of fun to meet these 26 soon-to-be newlyweds and learn about when and what church they were going to get married in. But after the introductions and the well-wishes concluded, reality set in: We now had to actually provide these couples with something useful.

Sidney and I were responsible for six presentations throughout the weekend. Using specific examples from our own marriage, we delivered talks on understanding oneself, communication, decision-making, unity, conflict resolution, and betrothal. The Schroeders presented on a host of other equally important marital topics while Fr. Pat provided his invaluable insight during each presentation. As a person who can get nervous enough just doing one presentation, doing a half dozen seemed pretty daunting. But with Sidney on my team and God’s abundant grace, it was much more of a blessed experience as opposed to a scary one.

Sidney presenting at the March 1-3 Engaged Encounter weekend while Fr. Pat Kerst and Joe Schroeder look on.

But the weekend wasn’t just about presentations. We watched videos, shared meals, and did activities. Confession was offered and the chapel was always open for prayer. On Saturday night, Fr. Pat offered mass. It was an intimate and beautiful way for our group to come together and celebrate the source and summit of Christian life.

It was gratifying to see the 13 engaged couples respond so well to everything we threw at them. Sidney and I really enjoyed getting to know the couples better as the weekend went on. We admired the overall humility, appreciation, and faith that was displayed. It wasn’t lost on us that they were giving up an entire weekend to sit inside the walls of a 1950s retreat house when they could be doing so many other things. Thanks be to God for their prioritization.

We had an incredible group of committed couples who brought plenty of faith and willingness to learn to the retreat.

Besides becoming acquainted with the couples preparing to be married, it was a complete pleasure to bond with the other members of our team. Collaborating with the Schroeders was extremely rewarding. They supported us immensely through our first weekend and we learned so much from the presentations they gave. The marriage that Joe and Natalie live out is one that Sid and I aspire to emulate. To share the stage with Fr. Pat was a thrill. Like I said, I have spent my whole life watching him and listening to him. But those nearly 34 years in front of congregation after congregation has surely not inflated his ego—Fr. Pat is as humble as they come! It was so special to see that up close.

This was our March 1-3, 2024 Engaged Encounter weekend team. What a pleasure it was to present with the Shroeders and Fr. Pat Kearst.

As I write this after allowing the weekend’s adrenaline to wear off and the significance to sink in, I just feel blessed for the opportunity Sidney and I were given. Thanks to Fr. Jeff for inviting us into the Engaged Encounter community, Ric and Cindy Gaunt for giving us the opportunity to present, Joe and Natalie Schroeder for teaming up with us, Fr. Pat for leading our weekend team, and everyone else in our EE chapter who so warmly welcomed us. Special thanks to my wife for being the best presenting partner ever! And, of course, praise to God for the grace to undertake such an intensive but worthwhile ministry. We can’t wait to present again. Don’t Blink.