A day doesn’t go by that I look on my Instagram feed and don’t see someone post an image of the contents of a fortune cookie. These images are as frequent as selfies or screenshots of the current weather temperature. Whereas I get a little bored with the generic selfie or the eye sore of a weather report, I find myself a little more entertained with the fortune cookie image. Although the idea itself is vastly overdone, the fortunes themselves are always different! I usually find myself laughing at the messages I read as we all know how bizarre and random they can be.

Last night after viewing another hilarious fortune cookie message on Instagram I decided I wanted to multiply my pleasure the next day. After work this evening I went to Wal-Mart and purchased two boxes of fortune cookies.

I went to Wal-Mart and picked up two boxes of fortune cookies.

I then came home and emptied the contents onto my coffee table. I nicely arranged all 24 cookies on my table and then unwrapped them. I then went through and cracked each one open and laid the unread fortune up against its cracked pieces. After I had taken the fortune out of each cookie I went through and read them.

My table of unopened fortune cookies.

To put it bluntly, I was disappointed. The fortunes for the most part were about as exciting as this year’s NBA Skills Competition. No attempt at wittiness, no room to go back and forth on what a fortune might mean, no messages that I would want to keep in my wallet. Probably the biggest slap in the face was that three of the fortunes were duplicates! But hey, that’s what you get for purchasing fortune cookies from Wal-Mart, right? At the end I will propose how I will remedy this. For right now let me give you my top three fortunes that I read:

After I opened up the fortune cookies I was disappointed for the most part with the fortunes.

1. Take the chance while you still have the choice (This one says a lot and speaks to me. My favorite).
2. You will enjoy good health; that is your form of wealth* (My blog post from last night speaks to how much I value this true advice….yes, advice, I know this isn’t really a “fortune”)
3. Your days will be filled with sunshine and happiness (I am missing the sunshine part right now and I want it really bad)

This fortune cookie message was my favorite.

Besides my above favorite fortunes, these two below were the only other messages that contained a speck of creativity and/or sarcasm:

1. Good luck is a hop, skip, and jump away. Hop to it
2. Your infinite capacity for patience will be rewarded sooner or later

Here are the remaining boring and cliché fortunes from the two boxes:

-You will be reunited with old friends
-You will come to realizations in your life that change you forever*
-Your future looks bright
-You will enjoy peace and harmony in your home
-A pleasant surprise is in store for you
-Travel is in your future
-You will be attracted to an older, more experienced person!
-You will be surrounded by luxury
-Financial prosperity is coming your way
-You will meet an important person who will help you advance professionally
-There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead of you
-All of your hard work will soon be paid off
-You will receive some high prize or award soon
-Your determination will bring you much success*
-An old wish will come true
-You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily

This is the stuff I like to do in my free time.

Really? Those are the best that they could come up with? Like I said, I have a remedy! In a blog post in the near future I plan to visit four or five Asian restaurants in Missoula and ask for a few fortune cookies at each establishment. I will then come home and go through the same process in hopes of finding the eclectic and obscure fortune cookie messages that I know are out there.

Until then I have a big mess to clean up. I personally rather eat dirt than a fortune cookie so time to fill up the trash can. I will leave you with the best fortune ever…Don’t Blink.

* – Denotes the duplicate fortunes.