My Fortune Cookie Experiment

A day doesn’t go by that I look on my Instagram feed and don’t see someone post an image of the contents of a fortune cookie. These images are as frequent as selfies or screenshots of the current weather temperature. Whereas I get a little bored with the generic selfie or the eye sore of a weather report, I find myself a little more entertained with the fortune cookie image. Although the idea itself is vastly overdone, the fortunes themselves are always different! I usually find myself laughing at the messages I read as we all know how bizarre and random they can be.

Last night after viewing another hilarious fortune cookie message on Instagram I decided I wanted to multiply my pleasure the next day. After work this evening I went to Wal-Mart and purchased two boxes of fortune cookies.

I went to Wal-Mart and picked up two boxes of fortune cookies.

I went to Wal-Mart and picked up two boxes of fortune cookies.

I then came home and emptied the contents onto my coffee table. I nicely arranged all 24 cookies on my table and then unwrapped them. I then went through and cracked each one open and laid the unread fortune up against its cracked pieces. After I had taken the fortune out of each cookie I went through and read them.

My table of unopened fortune cookies.

My table of unopened fortune cookies.

To put it bluntly, I was disappointed. The fortunes for the most part were about as exciting as this year’s NBA Skills Competition. No attempt at wittiness, no room to go back and forth on what a fortune might mean, no messages that I would want to keep in my wallet. Probably the biggest slap in the face was that three of the fortunes were duplicates! But hey, that’s what you get for purchasing fortune cookies from Wal-Mart, right? At the end I will propose how I will remedy this. For right now let me give you my top three fortunes that I read:

After I opened up the fortune cookies I was disappointed for the most part with the fortunes.

After I opened up the fortune cookies I was disappointed for the most part with the fortunes.

1. Take the chance while you still have the choice (This one says a lot and speaks to me. My favorite).
2. You will enjoy good health; that is your form of wealth* (My blog post from last night speaks to how much I value this true advice….yes, advice, I know this isn’t really a “fortune”)
3. Your days will be filled with sunshine and happiness (I am missing the sunshine part right now and I want it really bad)

This fortune cookie message was my favorite.

This fortune cookie message was my favorite.

Besides my above favorite fortunes, these two below were the only other messages that contained a speck of creativity and/or sarcasm:

1. Good luck is a hop, skip, and jump away. Hop to it
2. Your infinite capacity for patience will be rewarded sooner or later

Here are the remaining boring and cliché fortunes from the two boxes:

-You will be reunited with old friends
-You will come to realizations in your life that change you forever*
-Your future looks bright
-You will enjoy peace and harmony in your home
-A pleasant surprise is in store for you
-Travel is in your future
-You will be attracted to an older, more experienced person!
-You will be surrounded by luxury
-Financial prosperity is coming your way
-You will meet an important person who will help you advance professionally
-There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead of you
-All of your hard work will soon be paid off
-You will receive some high prize or award soon
-Your determination will bring you much success*
-An old wish will come true
-You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily

This is the stuff I like to do in my free time.

This is the stuff I like to do in my free time.

Really? Those are the best that they could come up with? Like I said, I have a remedy! In a blog post in the near future I plan to visit four or five Asian restaurants in Missoula and ask for a few fortune cookies at each establishment. I will then come home and go through the same process in hopes of finding the eclectic and obscure fortune cookie messages that I know are out there.

Until then I have a big mess to clean up. I personally rather eat dirt than a fortune cookie so time to fill up the trash can. I will leave you with the best fortune ever…Don’t Blink.


* – Denotes the duplicate fortunes.


I had a great day today. I got some work done that I had not looked forward to doing, progress was made for this Saturday’s Military Appreciation football game, I saw some of my favorite people stop by the office, and basketball season arrived as I worked the Griz and Lady Griz scrimmages this evening. Because the day went so well, I pretty much forgot about the fact that I witnessed three of my top pet peeves in the laziness category. As “pretty much” does not mean “completely,” these examples of sloth are still in my head. On the bright side, it does bring up an interesting topic to blog about. In no particular order, here are three acts of laziness that drive me crazy.

Not Returning Shopping Carts to the Racks

This evening at around 10pm I arrived at Wal-Mart and it looked like a UFO must have hovered over the parking lot and abducted 20 different people because I saw at least 20 different shopping carts left in the most random and inconvenient spots around the area.

How hard is it to return your cart to inside the store or to a designated cart rack after you unload your groceries into your car? I really don’t know how much of an inconvenience it can be for a person to walk an extra 30 feet. As you will soon see throughout this post, my biggest problem with laziness is it puts the person committing the act before everyone else. Thus, laziness equals selfishness in my book, something that I detest. Nothing is more irritating than looking all over for a parking spot and then finally coming up upon one that is empty only to see the second you are about to pull in that something actually is parked there…a shopping cart. It is almost like stumbling upon a land mine. Idle shopping carts just don’t pose a threat to finding a parking spot, they pose a threat to the safety of your car. I get nervous going inside a store, especially Wal-Mart, after I park my vehicle. The possibility of someone’s non-returned shopping cart colliding with my car is not far-fetched at all. People love to push their cart away from their vehicle after loading, completely unaware and unconcerned about where the cart might travel. Non-human forces also make carts ruin paint jobs on cars. All it takes is a little bit of wind or a slope of some kind to introduce a lone cart to the side of a vehicle.

Even if your unreturned cart never harms a car or takes a parking spot away from someone, please just have some respect for employees who must pick up and return the cart you left out in the Siberia portion of the lot. Or think about fellow customers who could have used it if brought back properly. Return what you use.

Not Racking Weights

In the middle of my workout today I needed to transition into the incline press. Although one incline bench was vacant, the weight stacked on the bar suggested otherwise. I had to ask the nice girl working on the regular bench right by the bench I wanted to use if she had seen anyone there recently. She responded by telling me that someone was last there ten minutes ago and he had since left the gym.

This is not just an issue that I experienced today. This is an issue that I experience five days out of the week when I go workout. Although everyone who has ever spent five minutes in a gym should know that it is proper etiquette to rack your weights at the completion of an exercise, I am always astonished at the inconsideration many show towards others and simply leave their machines/benches fully loaded. First off, an unracked piece of equipment gives off the illusion that it is currently in use. This initial assessment deters many people from walking any closer to the exercise that they wanted to complete. For others it leads to them looking around the gym trying to see if they can spot anyone who looks like they might still be working in on the equipment. It then leads to the awkward situation of approaching a stranger who is by the equipment you want to use and asking him/her if they know if anyone is still on it.

Besides giving off the impression of a machine in use, not racking weights places a burden on the person who wants to use it next. During a workout, we should exert energy while doing the actual lift…not by removing weights. I always feel bad for the dude who thinks he is the next Arnold Swarzenager who grunts and shouts while struggling to do one rep at 315 pounds and then leaves it fully loaded for some poor girl to come and take all six of the 45 pound weights off herself so she can use the equipment at her desired weight.

Not racking your weights just shows a great amount of disrespect. It sends the message that you don’t care about anyone else in the gym and that racking weights is below you. But mostly it is just lazy. There is nothing hard about completing your sets, ripping off the collars, and then racking the weights in their respective spots. Take the thirty extra seconds and make the piece of equipment welcoming for the next person…and don’t forget to wipe it down either!

Soliciting Mass Texts

After I finished my workout I looked at my phone to see that I had a group text message from a person who I am not relatively close to. When I opened it up, I shook my head. The text asked for donations to a good cause that this person was participating in early in November. Good cause, bad method.

If you want or need something, don’t send out a mass text. You are asking others to sacrifice a little bit for you, so please sacrifice a little bit of your time and personally contact each person individually. Simply adding a bunch of names to a text and blanketing them all by pressing the “send” button is lazy and impersonal. For many people, like me, it is a complete turnoff and a deal breaker. Getting the generic text message is bad enough, getting all the random replies from people included in the group message is even worse.

I am not saying all mass texts are bad because they aren’t. Invitations, directions, and significant news (baby born, someone passed away) can be effectively communicated via group texts. However, if you are requesting something from someone, please show the decency to personally reach out to him/her.


Many people say it is the little things that count. I tend to agree. In a world where it is so easy to cut corners and take the lazy way out, it is good to hold ourselves to a higher standard and do things the way they are supposed to be done. Bring your cart back inside the store, rack your weights, and don’t send out soliciting text messages! Don’t Blink.