Probably once every couple of months I channel my invention inner-self. I think up some harebrained idea that is either completely ridiculous or so good that it has already been invented. Safe to say, it is quite obvious why I don’t do this for a living. But tonight I have an idea that might actually have some potential.

In February wrote about my idea for an ice cream buffet. Just today someone submitted a comment underneath it. Although I can’t understand one word of it I am going to say  it was positive.

My latest scheme is to enter the facial tissue business and provide companies with branding opportunities for the box design. For example, If Coca-Cola wanted to work with me I would create them a beautiful red box with the company’s logo front and center with little Coke bottles running around it. Have you ever heard of such a thing? I didn’t think so.

This idea has been brewing in my mind for a while now. I admit, when I go to the grocery store I scrutinize what Kleenex box design I want to buy. I debate whether to pick up the red box with a floral pattern on it or the blue box with fluffy clouds. Although this sounds like a direct shot at my manhood, I can’t lie. I don’t even make the decision based on matching purposes for my apartment, I just do it on account of what design I think I will elevate my mood the most.

Me with the current tissue box I have in my apartment.

But the options are slim. The designs all revolve around light, peaceful themes. My idea is to offer tissue boxes that are bold, attention-grabbing, and hashtag-covered.

The direction I would take my idea is to create the cheapest tissue product on the market. I would then make offers to companies to produce branded boxes that I would guarantee to get on  store shelves. I would hit up fast food chains, automobile manufacturers, beer companies, and celebrities to invest in their own facial tissue box. Heck, I would even hit up professional and college sports teams.

Could you imagine going to the tissue aisle and seeing 50 different mundane designs? But then you look to the side and notice a sleek looking Seattle Seahawks box the neon blue and neon green mixed in with the distinctive logo! Even if you aren’t a Seahawk fan you would still probably get it just because it stands out and is something totally different from what you usually see. Of course the possibilities are endless as the option might even be available to get the tissues themselves in team colors. How flipping cool would that be?

Just going through my head right now I am visualizing a Taco Bell box, a Cheetos box, a David Letterman box, a Blue Moon box, and a Coastal Carolina University all-teal box! On these cardboard vessels of Kleenex you could put social media handles, brand slogans, and calls-to-action. Things could get a little out of control but it would certainly liven up the facial tissue aisle.

So I now turn over my idea to you. What do you think? Brilliant? Feasible? Has potential? Just another terrible idea? Let me know what you think and please pass that Kleenex. Don’t Blink.