“When two enemies are talking, they are not fighting.”
This past weekend I was directed to a Ted Talk with the theme above. Full disclosure, I didn’t stumble upon it because of the world events in the Middle East but I guess you could call the timing ironic.
The Ted Talk I watched was delivered by a man named Daryl Davis. A professional musician by trade, there is much more to Daryl than his uncanny playing of the boogie-woogie piano.
Daryl Davis is a pretty special human being.
Daryl is an African-American gentleman who spent many years of his childhood in a mostly white community. His first experience with racism occurred when he was 10 years old as he marched in a parade. After the incident, his parents sat him down and explained the sad and misguided ways of racism.
That discussion spurned what has become a lifelong question for Daryl: Why do you hate me when you know nothing about me?
During his 18-minute Ted Talk, Daryl speaks about a relationship he cultivated with a Ku Klux Klan member.
I strongly encourage you to watch Daryl Davis’ Ted Talk.
He had his secretary reach out to Roger Kelly, an Imperial Wizard within the Ku Klux Klan. The secretary, who was white, was able to arrange a meeting between her boss and Kelly. When the Imperial Wizard showed up to the meeting, he had no idea that Daryl was black. As you can imagine, Roger Kelly and the bodyguard he brought with him were caught off guard.
Daryl details another “caught off guard” moment during this initial meeting. While the men were nervously talking, there was a noise that spooked both Daryl and Roger, causing everyone to tense up and clench their fists. Daryl thought Roger made the noise and Roger thought Daryl made the noise but it was actually just a natural sound made by soda cans submerged in ice. The tense moment “broke the ice” while also illustrating how sometimes it is easy to always think the worse of someone else.
Long story short, Daryl and Roger met many times after that first encounter. Neutral meeting spots ended up giving way to discussions at their respective homes. Eventually, the bodyguard stopped coming. Although the changing of Roger’s ideology was slow, he eventually left the Klan and gave Daryl his robe.
Believe it or not, Roger’s robe isn’t the only one in Daryl’s possession. Dozens of former Klansmen left the organization because Daryl took the time to befriend them and listen to why they could hate him without knowing him.
It turns out that when engaged in conversation, things can get sorted out—even things as dark as racism.
After watching Daryl’s Ted Talk by myself, I watched it again with my family. If you are looking for inspiration and a powerful example of humanity, take the 18 minutes to watch Mr. Davis’ presentation. Don’t Blink.
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