What Do You Want For Christmas?

People dread the holidays for many reasons. Some hate the commercialism, some don’t get along with their family, some don’t have family, some are depressed, and some are just Scrooges. I don’t dread the holidays, but if I did it would be because of one question I get asked way too much:

What do you want for Christmas?

I hate this question. It drives me crazy, mainly because I never really have an answer. It doesn’t help that I have a family, specifically a brother and a sister, who start hounding me with this question via text messaging pretty much on a daily basis beginning in mid-November. At least my mom waits until after Thanksgiving to start nagging me. After years of the constant pestering it has started to become kind of a running joke that I am going to get harassed non-stop until I finally give them some sort of information on what they can but me so they can go out and get their Christmas shopping done insanely early.

As you can see, the question comes frequently, it comes early, and it comes from both my brother and sister.

As you can see, the question comes frequently, it comes early, and it comes from both my brother and sister.

So why don’t I just put a halt to the annoyance and give them my wish list, you ask? Well first off, no matter how much they are driving me crazy I won’t get myself to start thinking about Christmas in November…no chance. Then when early December rolls around I am usually too busy to think about gifts as our sports seasons are overlapping and the Adams Center is my permanent home. Then, after that first week in December when it becomes halfway acceptable to entertain such a question, I stall intentionally because I am so irritated with the constant text messages asking the dreaded question. Finally, when I do try to put some thought into what I want for the holidays I usually end up drawing a big blank.

I just have very little use for material gifts. I am not into appliances and I don’t do electronics. I have a ten year old television in my living room for crying out loud. I don’t care about updating my furniture or getting new bedding. I am twenty-seven years old and have no use for video games or other toys that people my age sometimes unfortunately still utilize. My work takes care of my phone and computer. I am absolutely content with what I have. So when I hear “What do you want for Christmas” I am left scratching my head.

However, last night I sat down on my couch and told myself I would not get up until I composed a Christmas list. I brainstormed for about a half hour and finally came up with a handful of items that I wouldn’t mind receiving this December 25. All the items on the list are practical and are things that would help make my life more convenient. This is what I came up with.

My 2013 Christmas List

My 2013 Christmas List

Immediately my brother texted back with a rude response (for the blacked out word, insert any word of your choice that means “stupid”).


Come on Glen, don't hate.

Come on Glen, don’t hate.

Well sorry Glen, that is the best that I could come up with. Those items will make me a happy guy on Christmas morning. Not that I have to explain my wish list but just a brief explanation: Food cards – I can always use food cards to area restaurants, after all I am a bachelor. Clothes – The most standard answer in the world to “What do you want for Christmas?” Even though I already have more clothes than most girls, I can always use more. Stamps – I love having a book of stamps in one of my drawers! It makes paying bills much easier. I also actually still engage in correspondence with the people I like via the U.S. Postal Service and nothing is more unsettling than an addressed envelope with no stamp. Sriracha- It is true, there is already a shortage of Sriracha since the sauce’s plant had to cease production. I can’t find it anywhere in Missoula and I am all out at my apartment. Please family, help me! Dollar Store Gift Card – I have a love-hate relationship with the Dollar Store but the items that I do find acceptable to purchase there I usually buy mass quantities of so it helps to have a gift card.

By all means, this is NOT a hint to all my readers out there. My family will take care of me and satisfy my wish list. I mean, come on, after driving me absolutely nuts to tell them what I wanted I pretty much better be swimming in Sriracha sauce come the end of this month. Best of luck getting all of your shopping done my friends! Don’t Blink.