Nothing seems to surprise me these days. So when I read the article last night about the rollout of a new Snickers seasoning, I didn’t really bat an eye. What I did do, however, was think about my five favorite seasonings—the non candy bar-based ones, of course. Well, let’s shake it!…

Snickers seasoning is an actual thing.

5. South Your Mouth Seasoning – I have no idea what is in this, but it definitely is good. South Your Mouth seasoning is a recipe from Sid’s family that came with us out west. She uses it when seasoning pretty much all the meat that we put on the grill. Perhaps one day she will share with me the ingredients but until then I will be content with just enjoying the je ne sais quoi that it brings out in our burgers, steak, and chicken.

Any homemade seasoning that is worth a damn must have a handwritten label. This is the Mathis family’s famous South Your Mouth seasoning.

4. Salt and Pepper – Yes, I understand these are technically two seasonings, but they are pretty much eternally intertwined as one. Some people can’t eat a single dish without shaking salt and pepper over it for a long hard count. I am not that extreme, but I do really enjoy sprinkling the combo on my sub sandwiches, pastas, and salads. I am a fan of the flavor it generates and also the thirst that it produces. You can’t go wrong with salt and pepper.

3. Parmesan Cheese (grated) – Called “shake cheese” in our house, parmesan cheese is my wife’s favorite seasoning and one that is close to my heart as well. Out of all the seasonings on this list, parmesan cheese is probably the one we are guilty of overapplying the most. To put it another way, this isn’t a seasoning that we “sprinkle.” Not only does parmesan cheese add a pleasant taste, I also have a fondness for its texture. Beware, if you see us eating pizza, you won’t be able to identify any toppings because they will be covered in a thick layer of shake cheese.

The Reser household loves parmesan cheese!

2. Red Robin Fry Seasoning – This stuff is soooo good. I will order more fries at Red Robin just so I can go another round with the fry seasoning. It is a distinct, flavorful tang that is one-of-a-kind. To be honest, I don’t even know if the seasoning would go well with any other food but because of the magic it does with french fries I have no shame elevating it to the second spot on my countdown.

1. Crushed Red Pepper – I love spicy food and spicy condiments. Naturally, it makes sense that I like spicy seasoning also. I crave the kick and flavor of red pepper. I also don’t mind the heat that manifests itself as slight perspiration on my brow. I respect seasonings that make themselves noticed without taking away too much from the actual food. In that respect, crushed red pepper delivers. Not only would I take red pepper over parmesan cheese on my pizza slice any day, I would even hold the actual mozzarella cheese topping itself if it was the only way I could use my favorite seasoning. No doubt about it, crushed red pepper is my #1.

Crushed red pepper is my favorite seasoning.

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If you twist my arm, I probably would try the Snickers seasoning and I would probably sample it on french fries. But don’t think it would ever replace crushed red pepper on my pizza. I will see everyone tomorrow for my Thursday Rundown. Don’t Blink.