Last night I did a Periscope broadcast where I recapped my latest blog post of my top songs of 2015. The broadcast was popular and engagement was high. When I hinted at the fact that I might do what I did in 2012 and also offer my worst songs of 2015, the idea was met with great encouragement. I like to give my social media audience what they want. With that said, this evening I bring you Brent’s Top Five Worst Songs of 2015.

Many of you might disagree with this list. I will be the first to admit that a few of these songs achieved enormous success this year. However, my opinion doesn’t always mesh with the music critic or the typical Top 40 radio listener. Here we go with the cacophonies…

5. “Uptown Funk” – Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars

This song might be the best example of what I prefaced in my introduction. I understand that this song was an instant commercial success but it didn’t impress me; not the first time I heard it nor the millionth time I heard it. I don’t care for funk songs from the 1980’s and I definitely don’t care for artists trying to re-do funk in 2015. While I do appreciate a retro sound in some instances (such as “Shut Up and Dance”), “Uptown Funk” just doesn’t do it for me.

The song actually really annoyed me. Hearing Bruno Mars say “Cause uptown funk gon’ give it to you” or “Girls hit your hallelujah” or “Don’t believe me just watch” over and over got on my nerves. All I wanted to say back was “Don’t believe me but SHUT UP.” A genre of music I didn’t care for and bad lyrics landed “Uptown Funk” on my worst list.

4. “Can’t Feel My Face” – The Weeknd

Never mind the fact that Sid and I still can’t figure out what exactly it means to be with someone who makes it so you “can’t feel your face,” this song was bad enough even without the confusing lyric. I will give it to The Weeknd, the verses don’t sound that bad but the chorus (both lyrics and beat) is just a real downer for me.

If a song doesn’t inspire me or make me feel real emotion, I can do without it. Forced to listen to a soulless song over and over will make me despise it. This happens to be the case with “Can’t Feel My Face.” I hated it the first time I heard it and suffered the continued assault on my eardrums repeatedly for months. The song has no energy, it is just noisy gibberish to me.

3. “Honey, I’m Good” – Andy Grammer

Nah, nah, Honey I’m BAD!! When this song first came out I didn’t know how to categorize it. At first I characterized it as an abysmal country song but then I found out who the artist was and noticed it was receiving air time on Top 40 radio stations. Do you have those songs that are supposed to be upbeat and fun but really end up just putting you in a bad mood? This is what “Honey, I’m Good” is to me!

Supposedly the song has a good message but I can’t get past the cheesy “hoedown” sound and the annoying way Grammer says the word “true” over and over. The song makes me want to avoid the dance floor at all costs. Sorry Grammer, but find your own sound.

2. “See You Again” – Wiz Khalifa featuring Charlie Puth

I hate to pick on Wiz especially after I put him on my 2012 worst list, but he offered me no choice. I get that “See You Again” was written for Paul Walker but the nice sentiment doesn’t mean I enjoy it. In fact, I have heard from several other people that their patience has also been tested from the very second that piano intro is played.

The song is way too sappy and the back and forth between Puth and Khalifa doesn’t work. The rhythm and the transition just isn’t there. As with the other songs on the list, “See You Again” just doesn’t strike me. Both artists need to look at Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind” for how a tribute song is done. But let’s be honest here, it doesn’t matter how much emotion you sing with or who is performing it if these are some of the lyrics you are working with:

I have no gift at writing lyrics either, but I think I could do a little better than this.

1. “Girl Crush” – Little Big Town

My readers who detest country are going to hate me for putting a song they probably never heard of in the top spot but I must do it. Little Big Town’s “Girl Crush” is an absolute disaster, a complete bore with an agonizing melody. This was one of those songs where I would literally angrily hit the radio dial the second it came on.

I haven’t been so annoyed and bored with a country song since Sugarland’s “Stay.” Although this song is performed with emotion, it is just overdone. Just like with “See You Again” the lyrics are sappy and unimaginative. “Girl Crush” is just way too slow; it seems to drain your energy. I give Little Big Town credit for making a major comeback to relevance in country music but this song seriously sucked.

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You want to know how you can get on my bad side? Create a mash up of these five melodies, hold me down on the ground, and force me to listen to it five times straight. Talk about absolute punishment. Is your opinion as strong as mine regarding any of these songs? Let me know. Don’t Blink.