A Burning Question About French Fries

Recently I stumbled upon a pretty cool graphic. Well, I actually didn’t stumble upon it, my brother sent it to a group message I am included in (he would be so angry if I didn’t give him credit). The image he sent is a ranking of various types of french fries. It is a well-done graphic with fun illustrations and descriptions.

This list ranking french fries is pretty cool.

This list ranking french fries is pretty cool.

I like french fries but I am not obsessed with them like my fiancé is. Sidney seriously lists french fries as her favorite food. So although she might be better suited to address this list, I decided I would steal a possible blog takeover topic from her and weigh in on it myself.

Sidney loves french fries, especially fries from Five Guys.

Sidney loves french fries, especially fries from Five Guys.

So, before I rip the graphic for two main reasons, let me again heap praise on it. Like I said, I love the aesthetic appeal (nothing is more beautiful than french fries, right?) of the image and I appreciate the depth it goes into. I found it cute how the illustrator included smiley fries and I like the noted distinction between some of the closely related fries such as Belgian, steak cut, and chips. I also agree that waffle fries and garlic fries each deserve a spot in the top five.

Although not in my top five, I do enjoy curly fries. Sidney and I enjoyed these during the Fourth of July in Walla Walla at Pioneer Park.

Although not in my top five, I do enjoy curly fries. Sidney and I enjoyed these during the Fourth of July in Walla Walla at Pioneer Park.

However, the first issue I have is a type of fry that not only didn’t make the top five but didn’t even crack the list! Where is any mention of spicy fries?! Hello?!? How could such a glaring mistake be made? Nothing is better than eating a burger with a large side of fries that pack a punch. Not only do spicy fries add great flavor, they also look great on a plate. There is just something visually satisfying about crispy orange-toned fries covered in seasonings resting on a white porcelain plate backdrop. Major snub for sure.

My second issue winds me up even more than the omission of spicy fries. Riddle me this: How are TATER TOTS included on a ranking of the best styles of french fries?

Tater tots are in no way, shape, or form a valid excuse for french fries. Could you imagine if you were at a restaurant and you ordered fries and they brought you out tater tots? I realize that tater tots share a common ingredient with french fries but I don’t see how that puts them into the same class. Pizza and nachos both use cheese as their main ingredient but a pizza isn’t a plate of nachos and a plate of nachos isn’t a pizza. You know that ridiculous question people always debate….is a hot dog a sandwich? The answer is obviously NO but even that inquiry deserves more consideration than if a tater tot is a fry.

Probably worst of all is where tater tots land on the list. There is no way you can tell me that a side item that doesn’t even belong on the list in the first place is given the bronze medal. To put tater tots ahead of 18 other legitimate versions of french fries is an insult. That #3 ranking needs to be rescinded immediately.

At a restaurant in Spokane called Selkirk, they make snow capped fries. It is a favorite of Sidney and I.

At a restaurant in Spokane called Selkirk, they make snow capped fries. It is a favorite of Sidney and I.

Tater tots…really? Does anyone out there actually agree with its inclusion on the list? If so, I would like to hear from you. Additionally, if you have any thoughts on this list in general don’t be afraid to sound off. Sidney, if you are reading this I am sure you are craving something right about now. Don’t Blink.