This weekend I heard the true story about a man who decided to quarantine at Disney World. Faced with endless spots to practice social distancing at the gigantic park, he didn’t make a bad choice. He opted for a tropical oasis called Discovery Island.
Although he didn’t make a bad choice in terms of park attraction, he did make a bad choice in terms of breaking the law––Disney World apparently discourages trespassers, especially during a global pandemic. The 42-year-old man named Richard McGuire was arrested after managing to live on the island for about 72 hours.
The bizarre story got me thinking: If I had no obligations and couldn’t care less about breaking and entering, where would I quarantine? Well, I have a list of 10 possibilities.
Las Vegas Strip Casino – Any place on the Strip––whether it be Caesar’s Palace, the Venetian, the MGM, etc.––is like a mini city with all the amenities you could ever need. Besides all that, the biggest draw for me would be staying in the high roller suites!
Major League Baseball Stadium – By day I would relax in a lawn chair out in center field and by night I would lounge in the cozy home team clubhouse watching the big screen televisions.
Barnes & Noble – When I stop at this store, I always spend way more time inside than I originally planned. I am sure that a life of quarantine inside a Barnes & Noble would be pleasant. I would spend a week in one genre and then move to a new one the following week. The café would keep me fed, hydrated, and happy.
The Mall – What’s not to like about ample room to jog indoors and numerous entertainment options to keep myself stimulated? In the evening I would retreat to one of the department stores so I could get my zzzzzz’s on an ultra-comfy couch or big bed.
Sporting Goods Store – I think I could live on Power Bars for a few months. You see, my diet would be secondary if I had access to all the exercise equipment my heart desired. I would also be able to work on my golf swing and sleep in tents at night.
Movie Theater – Contingent on someone joining me who could actually work the projector, I would love to ride out the pandemic at a movie house. I would walk out of the place at the end of COVID an esteemed film critic and a complete slob––can you imagine all the popcorn I would eat?!
Fancy Hotel – This might be the best option on the entire list. If I could infiltrate an abandoned luxury hotel, I would have all my needs met. Business center, nice gym, good food, and comfy sleeping quarters.
Dave & Buster’s – If I was looking for a place to stay during quarantine that would challenge me to better myself each day, Dave & Buster’s would be my best bet. With all the time I would spend there, I can’t think of any excuse that would prevent me from breaking all the high scores and records on the various games. Whenever I would need a break, I could find comfort at the bar watching the endless big screens.
Local YMCA – I could easily hang out at a fitness club by myself for a duration of time. My days would be structured by shooting hoops on the basketball court, swimming in the pool, getting my pump on in the gym, and maybe playing some solo racquetball. With shower facilities readily available, this arrangement would be perfect.
Cheesecake Factory – These restaurants aren’t known simply for their incredible food and ridiculously in-depth menus but for the nice buildings they operate out of (a reason why many of them are all currently shut down). Not only would I eat like a king for every meal, but I would be able to choose a different dining area to enjoy each one of them in.
No matter how enticing some of these options might be, there is still a location that I would always choose in a heartbeat over the above 10 places: home.
Although at times it might feel like the walls are closing in, we must never find ourselves taking for granted the opportunity we have to shelter from this pandemic with those we love the most. Trust me, it is better than Disney World. Don’t Blink.