Ranking the Cap’n Crunch Cereals

On Friday evening, I found myself in Kroger. The supermarket chain has incredible deals it rolls out on Fridays and Saturdays for members of its loyalty program. This past weekend, you could purchase boxes of Life and Cap’n Crunch variety cereals for $.99. Shelling out less than a dollar for premium cereal isn’t bad! I went in and promptly purchased four boxes.

A look at the Kroger cereal sale I took advantage of last Friday.

When I was deciding what specific kind to purchase, I found myself thinking about my history with Cap’n Crunch and how much I actually like it. Although it didn’t make my short list for my favorite unhealthy cereals, it is definitely an honorable mention. In tonight’s blog post, I want to rank the traditional Cap’n Crunch cereals. Notice how I used “traditional”? Very limited edition varieties such as the Blueberry Pancake Crunch flavor I tried last year are not eligible.

5. Cap’n Crunch – Someone had to be at the bottom, right? It isn’t that I don’t like the original Cap’n Crunch cereal, it is just that it is a little too boring for me. I love the flavor and I will put these yellow pieces of goodness on my froyo in a heartbeat, but I can’t say it is my favorite variety.

The original Cap’n Crunch. Good, just a little boring.

4. Ooops All Berries – When I eat Crunch Berries, I eat all the yellow pieces first so I can save the best for last. No doubt about it, the berries are tastier than the yellow pieces, which is why it is ahead of the original version. With that said, both pieces still need each other to be a great team. Thus, the Oops All Berries cereal finds itself in the bottom half of the countdown. While I really enjoy the taste of the berries, it needs the yellow pieces just like the marshmallows of Lucky Charms needs the toasted oat pieces.

Sometimes you can have too much of a good thing.

3. Peanut Butter Crunch – This variety is kind of interesting because it contains no components of the other cereals…no yellow pieces or berries. Rather, you get peanut butter-flavored puffs that have no taste-resemblance to anything else within the Cap’n Crunch brand. Not that it matters to me. As a peanut butter fanatic, I really enjoy this cereal. I could eat it for at least a week straight but it does have one problem: its main competitor, Reese’s Puffs, is just so much better. It is like Peanut Butter Crunch is the less cool, chunkier older brother to the rich, lighter Reese’s Puffs.

This cereal is good…but not as good as Reese’s Puffs.

2. Crunch Berries – A classic! Not even Mike & Ike has anything on this duo. Just the aroma given off by this cereal is a winner. Not only do I like Crunch Berries but Sloan does too, eating it both dry and with milk. Speaking of eating it with milk, Crunch Berries is a cereal that tastes really, really good soggy (even if it takes away the “crunch”). A cereal that was a favorite of mine as a child and as an adult, it finishes in second place.

Can’t beat this combo! I love Crunch Berries.

1. Christmas Crunch – As a kid, I knew the Christmas season had arrived when I saw the boxes of Christmas Crunch on the shelves. Basically a clone of Crunch Berries just with different colors, the taste didn’t need to be sold on me. But the Christmas tie-in with the Captain on the front of the box with the Santa hat is what makes this cereal so magical to me. It screams the holiday season and even made a 2017 blog post that listed my top seasonal treats. In the introduction I mentioned that I wouldn’t include limited editions in this post but Christmas Crunch is produced every single year so I don’t consider it “limited,” I just consider it good.

This cereal brings back so many great holiday memories.

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Who needs Morgan when you have Crunch? There is no question about who the superior captain is in my book. Have a great night, friends. Don’t Blink.

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