Tonight is the 2017 Emmy Awards. Not that I will be watching. First of all, I find these awards a snoozefest. But, adding extra incentive to not watch this year is the host. I don’t think there is anyone on TV whose work I dislike more than that of Stephen Colbert. So, there you have it, I won’t be tuning in.

What I will be doing, however, is “hosting” my own Don’t Blink Emmy Awards right here on my blog. Even though I am absolutely 100% unqualified to do something such as this (I used to never watch anything other than sports programming on TV until I met Sidney) I am going to take full liberty of my right to sit behind a keyboard and type out my hot takes. Without further ado, could I have the envelopes please?…

Best Drama: This Is Us – The writing and the themes in this program made it must-watch TV last fall. Sidney and I had Tuesday nights pretty much circled on our calendars and looked forward to watching the latest episode throughout the day. This show is about real life topics. All of us can relate to it in some way and even the most heartless individual couldn’t watch an episode and not feel some type of emotional pull at the end.

Best Reality Show: Big Brother – In my opinion, I think it is best when reality shows are actually based on reality. With “Big Brother,” it is raw and believable. It is based on actual human nature. Most of all, the show is about strategy. Regular people come on the show and battle it out to be the last one standing. It is structured and it is goal-oriented but it isn’t scripted. Nothing beats it.

Worst Realty Show: Housewives of __________ – Sidney calls the shows that follow “socialites” around trash. I couldn’t agree more. Even though she continues to watch it, at least she calls it for what it is. Nothing is more cringeworthy than the “Housewives of (insert whatever city is given a bad name).” The entitlement, the disrespect, and the first world problems are all enough to make me walk out of the room when it is on.

Best Game Show: Jeopardy – I know a lot of game shows came out this past season including “The Wall,” “Candy Crush,” and “Beat Shazam” but I would watch a 1980s rerun from Jeopardy over all those any day of the week. Jeopardy tests your intelligence while needing no gimmicks to keep you entertained. It is a great show to watch with others and Alex Trebek is still on the top of his game.

Best Made-for-TV Documentary: 30 for 30 – Yes, ESPN is starting to go downhill a bit but its 30 for 30 series is a bright spot. Even if you aren’t a sports fan, the way these stories are told will keep you glued to the TV. The reason? These documentaries focus just as much on the cultural aspect as the athletic pursuit. When you watch one of these programs, it really feels like you are living through it in the moment.

Best News Magazine: Dateline – Let me tell you, the news magazine category is stacked. Shows like 20/20, 60 Minutes, and 48 Hours keep improving by adding effects, social media components, and more drama. However, there is one show that has something those other programs don’t. Which show is that? Dateline. And what does it have that the others don’t? Keith Morrison.

Enough said.

Best News Broadcast: Nightly News With Lester Holt – Sure, the mainstream news networks have an obvious left-leaning bias these days but we still got to get our news somehow. At our house, we never miss Lester Holt’s nightly broadcast.

Best Crime Show: Live PD – This program quickly became a favorite of Sidney’s family and for someone like me who grew up watching Cops, Live PD is intriguing to me too. Making it even better is the fact that a regular department the show covers is the Spokane County Sherriff’s Office. Watching the cameras film the crime on the streets of my hometown and then have law enforcement experts in the studio analyze it is pretty cool!

Best Flipping Houses/Remodel/Fixer Up Show: Fixer Upper’s – This is another genre of show I would never watch if not for meeting Sidney but over the past few years I have seen all of the 47 programs that fit this category. The one I like best is “Fixer Upper’s.” I enjoy both hosts and, I must admit, Chip actually makes me laugh. Although it is not a show I could watch a marathon of, I am good for back-to-back episodes.

Best Baby Show: Color Crew – Surprise surprise that this is a category, right? My favorite show to watch with Sloan is “Color Crew” on Baby First TV. Give it an actual Emmy, please.

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Congratulations to all the winners! I know my opinion means a lot. Regardless of how bush league this blog post is, it sure is better than one thing: sitting through a show hosted by Stephen Colbert. Don’t Blink.