Not a terribly long Sunday blog post today, which is probably a good thing. Since giving birth to our baby girl, she has strategically taken time away from my normal blogging pattern so I can no longer bore you with posts that go on past 700 words. Besides impacting Don’t Blink, she has also evolved my thinking in a few other ways. How about I just give you five of them?
1. The World is a Scary Place – When I was a kid and adults would tell me “the world is a scary place” and that they “worry about the environment their kids will grow up in” I didn’t really get it. However, now I do; at least just a little bit. This past week with the chemical attack in Syria and President Trump’s cruise missile response, I felt some fear for Sloan. She is growing up in an age where all it takes is some noxious gas being discretely released to kill thousands and an age where our country seems to be picking up more enemies each day.
2. All Planning Relies on My Baby – Of course I knew that our lives would change dramatically once Sloan was born but now it is just so much more real. Since she arrived in this world, whenever I make a plan, whether it be short term or long term, I automatically think of Sloan’s schedule first before I think of mine. If we are planning something for three months from now, I calculate how old that will make Sloan and how she will react to whatever we will be doing or wherever we will be going.
3. Getting Through the Night – I used to have bad sleeping habits but then Sidney really helped me develop a better schedule. Well, so much for that. I am no longer focusing on getting seven hours of sleep a night but rather focusing on planning out the three times during the evening hours when we will be feeding Sloan. however, although I really grew to enjoy getting an adequate amount of sleep each night, I don’t mind staying up with Sloan because it is a great way to bond.
4. The Worry – My mom tells me that now I have a daughter of my own, I will never stop worrying again. So true. Even at her ripe old age of three weeks, I have plenty of paranoia. Is she eating enough? Why did she make that noise? Is she uncomfortable? Am I holding her right? Will other drivers on the road make good decisions while she is in our car? Are we aiding her development? etc. etc. etc. I constantly tell myself to just relax, but the worry is always in the back of my head.
5. Am I Doing a Good Job? – I have great parents. Sidney has great parents. I feel the pressure to follow in their footsteps and be a great parent as well. But I have found myself asking this over the past three weeks: Have I done as much as mom and dad did when they had me? In Sloan’s first 23 days of life, have I done as much for her as my parents did for me? I am constantly wondering if I am giving Sloan what she needs and deserves.
So now that you know what is on my mind, it is time that I sign off and go back to my daughter. Oh yeah, I might watch a little bit of golf today too. Don’t Blink.