My face is a disaster.
As I have mentioned a couple of times, I was in Arizona this past weekend. I really never paid attention to how hot it was. During my stay, there was a constant wind that provided relief from the 100 degree temperatures. This wind gave me a false impression that the brutal desert sun must not be as powerful as long as it was blowing. Couple that with an awesome pool and plenty of alcohol and you can see how I probably spent way too much time out in the sun.
I am not a person who burns. I think it is my Italian heritage that always allows me to get dark. I say I am not a person who burns, but I must concede that the few times I have burned, it was usually my first major exposure to the sun of the year. As the weather in Missoula has been absolutely dreadful this spring, this was really my first time under the sun. I should have had this in mind before I started my Memorial Day Weekend but the factors I listed above pulled me in a different direction.
When I got back to Missoula on Monday I was dark. Very dark. I thought I was in the clear. When I woke up on Tuesday and got ready for work I was still pretty dark but a red tinge had crept in a little. I noticed throughout work that I was getting redder as the day went on and some peeling was visible. Later that night after my workout, I noticed it was getting worse.
When I awoke this morning I looked in the mirror in shock. My face looked awful, there was peeling all over. I wanted to go back to bed and not go to work. Of course, that is not acceptable. At work I watched in horror as every hour my face got even worse! I went to the bathroom probably 8 different times to wash my face with cold water and look somewhat presentable. It really was no use though. It would have been one thing if I could have dodged people but not today. I gave an interview, conducted a tour, and had to give a little girl a Monte (the mascot of the Montana Grizzlies) souvenir . Probably scared the daylights out of her with my two toned, splotchy face.
My most embarrassing moment did not come until the end of the day though when my face was at its worst. Our newly hired soccer coach needed to ask me a question. It would have been really nice to provide a decent first impression. Well, that was quickly squashed when one of my co-workers provided him directions to my office by loudly exclaiming and pointing in my direction “he is the guy straight ahead with the big red face.” Thanks. Anyways, Coach walks into my office, takes one look at me, and says, “What happened to YOU?” Great start.
You know what? I can take a few days in the office with a hideous face, that is fine. My big problem? My sister is getting married this Saturday. I am serving as an usher. I am going to see everyone and their dog at this wedding who I have not seen in years. Relatives, friends, former neighbors, teachers, randos, my sister’s hot friends. There is no way I can look the way I look right now. I am terrified. The rehearsal is on Friday evening and most likely I am going to look like a clown.
If anyone out there has any suggestions/miracle remedies at all on how I can look halfway presentable come Friday, please text/Facebook/e-mail/comment/call me. I would be forever indebted to you. Even when I look in the mirror, I am still following the golden rule…Don’t Blink.