I rarely cuss. In fact, unless I am writhing on the ground in pain because of a cramp, you will almost never hear me utter a bad word. But every now and then, an exception must be made. Unfortunately, I must direct an unpleasant acronym at a popular wholesaler. So, here it goes…

Costco…WTF?

I couldn’t believe it when I heard it. I have spoken out against shrinkflation before, but at the time it hadn’t hit home like it recently did. When word reached me that Costco had completely changed its signature jumbo muffins—for a smaller and more expensive version—I lost it.

This is NOT okay.

You might be thinking, What’s the big deal, Brent? We are talking about muffins. You don’t understand! Costco muffins are incredibly special to me. They have been a constant in my life. No matter my age nor where I lived, a Costco muffin has always been not just nourishment but comfort for me. It anchors my list of top 5 items I buy at Costco. When I completed a strenuous weight loss challenge diet, I told the fitness instructor the first “bad” thing I was going to eat was a Costco muffin. I literally wrote an entire blog post paying tribute to the most clutch “meal” on this planet.

Me holding the original Costco muffins (notice how happy I was) back in 2024.

So please forgive me for my tantrum, but this just doesn’t sit well with me. You see, I think the Costco muffin is more sacred than the Costco hot dog. In my opinion, I think the muffin should have received the same well-documented protection that the Costco dog enjoys.

Photo I took of the new Costco muffins this past Sunday.

Please, don’t try to defend the new muffins. People have tried to spin the downgrade by saying that since the new muffins come in packs of eight, you no longer have the stress of eating 12 muffins (the product count with the original muffins) before they go bad. I assure you, thanks to an invention called the freezer, we never “stressed out” about eating the muffins before they went bad.

Defenders will also try to focus on the fabulous new flavors. Oh, you know Costco eliminated all the classic flavors, right? Say adios to blueberry, banana nut, vanilla chocolate chunk, and even poppyseed. In their place, new bougie flavors like lemon raspberry, butter pecan, and cinnamon chip. Thankfully, the chocolate flavor still remains but not without some marketing spin. Instead of double chocolate, the flavor is now called triple chocolate.

Double chocolate was plenty enough for me. The new triple chocolate mini muffins aren’t nearly as good.

The biggest crime is that you get less for more. An article I read broke it down like this: The old muffins were priced at $9.99 for a dozen, but the new eight-count package comes in at $6.99. We crunched the numbers, and pound for pound, the new muffins are about $1.34 more expensive (allrecipes.com).

And they aren’t even that good! Well, scratch that, they are good. Just not as tasty as the old ones. They are drier, they crumble, and they don’t fill you up. Any way you look at the situation, it is a downgrade. And trust me, I know this is a first world problem and I should probably just stop eating muffins entirely and opt for a salad instead. But shrinkflation bothers me and when it messes with one of my favorite commodities, I get a little fired up.

A photo I took of the new Costco muffins at the north Spokane Costco warehouse this past Sunday.

Remember when Coke came out with its new formula in the 1980s? The outcry was so severe that the company pulled the new drink and replaced it with the classic formula. Do I think something similar will happen with Costco muffins? No. But a guy can dream. Don’t Blink.