Toy Fails

I bought something for Sloan last night that I immediately regretted. Upon reflecting on this purchase, other instances came to mind when I let Sloan bring something home that turned out to be a mistake. In tonight’s blog post I will bring to light a handful of toy fails.

Nunchucks – The inspiration for this evening’s post is Michelangelo’s weapon. Last night Sloan found some basic kid-proof nunchucks in the toy aisle. Wanting to appease her I gave the “OK” after she asked me multiple times if she get could them. Before we even got home I knew it was a bad idea as she kept striking my drivers seat. Once we were in the living room it got pretty nerve-wracking watching her wildly swing the nunchucks as Beau walked around. I became her new target once we put her little brother down. Yep, today we put the nunchucks away.

Sloan with her Dollar Tree nunchucks last night.

Kinder Egg – We went through a BIG Kinder Egg stage. Although I enjoyed putting the Kinder toys together with Sloan while watching her brain turn gears, the little pieces were a nightmare, especially with Beau crawling around. If it wasn’t for the educational value, these cheap toys and lackluster chocolate would be more trouble than they are worth.

Sloan was obsessed with Kinder Eggs for a period of time.

Recorder – Unfortunately Sloan received her daddy’s instrument-playing skills. I could never carry a tune and apparently neither can Sloan. But to be fair, does anything sound good coming from a recorder? I don’t even know how the toy instrument got into her hands but it definitely did somehow. There is certainly a special cacophony that is produced when a baby is crying, two different devices are playing random YouTube videos, and your toddler is blowing into a recorder.

It doesn’t really matter who plays it, a recorder just really isn’t that pleasant to listen to.

Putty – The safer alternative, so we thought, to slime, Sloan got some putty in her Ryan’s Egg that she found in a scavenger hunt last summer. She played with it in my parents’ living room and remnants would be found on the couch later that evening. But that wasn’t the worst part. Some of the putty found its way into Sloan’s pocket and when we washed her pants with our other clothes it stained the whole load and solidified putty deposits on several shirts and shorts.

At the end of the scavanger hunt, Sloan had found a Ryan’s Mystery Egg that had putty inside of it.

LOL Dolls – This is Sloan’s absolute favorite toy so I kind of hate to put it on this “fail” list but I am just being honest. The pieces of an LOL Doll make the pieces from a Kinder Egg look oversized. It is not if Sloan will lose any pieces but how many and whether Beau will swallow them. They are kind of like how a new car loses value once it drives off the lot; with an LOL Doll the moment it is opened it loses value because pieces immediately go missing. The dolls themselves are at least PG-13 as they are built with questionable anatomy for a young audience and their general appeal is still a mystery to me. If you have boys, just feel fortunate that you don’t have to deal with these.

Sloan ripping open an LOL OMG Doll at her birthday party this year.


Bottom line? Don’t get your kid nunchucks. Let me know if I need to add any toys to this list. I thank you in advance. Don’t Blink.

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