The United States of America is the best country in the world. I thank God each and every day that I live here and I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. But, with that said, there are some things that go on inside these borders that are beyond ridiculous. Let me quickly vent on one of them.

I love holidays! I also like special occasion days like birthdays and anniversaries. I also like days that aren’t holidays but probably should be such as the Super Bowl and the first couple days of March Madness. I appreciate days that stick out a little more than others, it makes them special and it gives us all an excuse to have fun and enjoy each other. However, at this point, I am sick and tired of people and companies trying to make each day on the calendar a “National Day Of…” something.

I just about had it today when I was informed that September 5 was National Cheese Pizza Day. Really? National Cheese Pizza Day? Not even just National Pizza Day? They really had to throw the cheese part in? Of course National Cheese Pizza Day isn’t the only “cheesy” pseudo holiday…practically all of them are. Here are just a few: National Chocolate Milkshake Day, TV Dinner Day, Teddy Bear Picnic Day, National Gummi Worm Day, Hippo Day, Duran Duran Day, National Men’s Grooming Day, National Thesaurus Day, National Handwriting Day, National I Don’t Give A…

The last day I mentioned doesn’t actually exist but in all honesty it is probably the most rational one out of all the others. I can’t put into words how dumb so many of these days are. It is just not needed. We don’t need a silly theme for every single day of the year. This country is not populated by just kindergarteners. After a quick look around at work today and through running my errands I encountered living, breathing adults who probably think the same as me that National Gummi Worm Day is stupid.

To be fair, when I did some research for this post I saw that some people who are confined to hospital beds or who are incapable of getting out much do look to these silly named days as a little bit of comedic relief, something that actually gives them a little bit of joy each day. The last thing I want to do is strip anyone desperately in need of a daily laugh so let me just narrow my point a little more and specify who I am talking to.

I frown upon the people who are strong, able-bodied, and able-minded who latch onto these days. I frown upon the people who blow up social media wishing everyone a “Happy National Scrabble Day.” I frown upon the people who pour syrup on their sandwich because it is “National Maple Syrup Day.” I frown upon people who go out to eat dressed head to toe in purple because it is “National Wear Purple For Peace Day.” I frown upon the people who expect other people to know what “special” day it is and light up with a smile when they are notified about it. I frown upon the people who have expectations of others to actually wear, eat, do, or observe whatever lame topic the national day is commemorating.

I dislike these days because I think it cheapens our calendar. We don’t need something special or goofy every single day of the year. We just need Mondays to be Mondays and Wednesdays to be Wednesdays. I dislike these days also because I think it feeds gluttony and I think it plays to the notion that we have short attention spans and are in constant need of little distractions to keep us entertained. I also think it is a major crutch for people who have outlets to communicate with the masses but have nothing original to say so they rely on topics such as “National Make Cut Out Snowflakes Day.”

Do we really need to have a “National” day for every single date? No, we don’t. But just for the sake of argument let’s make a “National Live Life to the Fullest Day” and have 7/8 of the dates on the calendar be under that mantra. I don’t know about you but I would take that day over “National Measure Your Feet Day” in a heartbeat. Don’t Blink.