Today is an extreme, bitter battle. Move over iPhone vs. Android and Pepsi vs. Coke. Don’t waste your time Uber vs. Lyft and Dunkin vs. Starbucks. In fact, this face off might be more toxic than Trump vs. Harris.

What I am alluding to is a grudge match not for the faint of heart. Hide your kids and hide your husband because I am about to hit you with it…

Candy Corn vs. Everybody.

Today is National Candy Corn and I sincerely question how many people are actually celebrating.

Yes sir, today is the day that recognizes the candy everyone loves to hate…and with good reason. October 30 is an official opportunity to intensify attacks on the most misguided confectionery ever made. Happy National Candy Corn Day, everyone.

Full transparency, I used to like candy corn—but it was before I knew better. At my grandpa’s restaurant growing up, there was a candy case at the cash register that contained candy bars, mints, Skittles, and…candy corn. I would do the unthinkable and actually eat it.

But then one day the weirdest thing happened. It was like a switch was flipped and I stopped liking candy corn. As crazy as it sounds, I went from tolerating the candy to finding it totally repulsive. It happened seemingly overnight.

One of my colleagues brought in candy corn to the office today. She had no idea it was National Candy Corn Day. Even though I hate candy corn, I had to eat a few pieces because of that incredible timing. Thanks, Shelley!

These days I have no time whatsoever to contemplate eating candy corn. I almost dread October because of its prevalence. The chalky, waxy texture doesn’t agree with my body. The only thing I find less appetizing than traditional candy corn? The candy corn that comes in seasonal shapes.

For example, you find pumpkin-shaped candy corn all over the place this time of year. Much in the same way that Reese’s pumpkins seem to contain more Reese’s peanut butter than a typical peanut butter cup, a candy corn pumpkin seems to contain more “candy corn” (haha) than a traditional piece of candy corn. Obviously I find just one of those scenarios pleasurable and it isn’t the one that deals with the product we are “celebrating” today.

My boss isn’t a candy corn fan either, but he says he can tolerate it as a topping. He specifically mentioned that he doesn’t mind a piece of candy corn on a frosted Christmas sugar cookie. Sorry, I still hate it. This past weekend there was a hot chocolate bar at one of the Halloween events we attended. Candy corn was available to either sink (or would it float?) in your cocoa or to top on the whipped cream finish. Blasphemy!

For all those weirdos out there who enjoy candy corn, I hope you enjoy your day. I am personally setting my phone’s alarm clock to notify me at midnight when this nightmare is over. Don’t Blink.