Even by my standards, last night’s MTV Video Music Awards show was tough to watch. From the raunchiness of Miley Cyrus to the constant censoring of cuss words to Nicki Minaj’s uncivil attack on the celebrity just mentioned, the show certainly didn’t leave me inspired. However, even without those three unfortunate occurrences, the Kanye West debacle was enough to soil the show.

Let me make this confession right off the bat. I tuned in live last night (with the standard delay) and watched Kanye accept his award with the rest of the Twitterverse. However, since then, I have not re-watched it nor read any reactions to it. I opted to do this because no one should have to listen to his rambling ego fest even once, let alone twice. With that said, I do know that I might have missed something or misinterpreted what he said. If you see that I have done that, please let me know.

I was so disappointed in Kanye West. I thought the stage was set for a great moment. Taylor Swift did an awesome job introducing him and downplaying the unfortunate incident from several years ago with both humor and sincerity. The camera shots of Kanye during Taylor’s intro led me to believe that he would match the grace of the person he put down half a decade ago. When Kanye walked up to the stage, hugged Swift, and took the award I thought his speech would have substance and humility.

As he started to speak, his thoughts were incoherent and he seemed very nervous. To me, I thought it was because he felt embarrassment at what he had done and was struggling to express how best to apologize. The crowd started to applaud as a form of encouragement and I was right along with them. I honestly thought the guy wanted to come clean, he wanted to genuinely say he was sorry. In my head I could sense the healing words right on the tip of his tongue. It pained me a little bit that he was struggling, I was pulling for him so hard…

…but then it turned bad. Real bad.

The build up to what I thought was going to be a touching moment proved to be the build up for a self-promoting, finger pointing rant. He tried to justify the Taylor Swift incident by saying that he feels he must fight for artists, even if it means putting down other artists. This proclamation led him off on a bizarre tangent where he criticized award shows and MTV. He was especially brutal on the latter, blaming the network (as he stood on their stage) for magnifying his embarrassing actions toward Swift. He rambled on and on, no one quite knew what he would say next or when he would cease talking.

About midway through, Mr. West admitted to being drunk when he hijacked Swift’s award speech. He then admitted to being high at that very moment as he once again humiliated himself on that same MTV stage. He wasn’t the only one humiliated though. How do you think MTV felt at this moment? The station was awarding this guy with not only a trophy but an outlet to speak to millions of people worldwide and what does he do? He bashes them. Under the influence of drugs. Ouch.

You know what I hated most about the speech though? People who know me don’t have to think twice about the answer…the constant use of the word “bro.” I have detested the phrase even before t-shirt makers started to put it at the end of every phrase. Even before “Jersey Shore” drove the phrase into the ground with idiotic, excessive usage. Even before uncreative people started to use it while in conversation with females. It sounds so unintelligent and condescending. Kanye probably uttered the phrase ten different times last night. I cringed each and every time.

It was the awkward, long winded speech that would never end. It pretty much epitomized the 2015 VMAs. How bad was it? Notice how I didn’t include the link in this post? Well, I wanted to do you a favor. Class it up, Kanye. Don’t Blink.