As someone who dreads birthdays, I do recognize that others like them and not everyone is like me. Whether or not you appreciate them or not, I feel it is best to dislike/like birthdays in a non-extreme manner. Unfortunately, some people make way too big of a deal out of how much they hate that time of the year where they become a year older while others go way off the deep end in recognizing and celebrating their special day. Although it is a two way street, let’s be honest here, many more people are guilty of the second condition of indulging way too much on their birthday and although I hate to say it, most of the time these perpetrators are women.
I try to keep my posts that call girls out to a minimum. I love women and I realize that us guys probably have around a thousand more vices than females. I also realize that the woman brain is different from the man brain so many things they do will never make sense to me no matter how much I try to relate. With that in mind, please do not become too offended if I step on your toes a little bit.
I understand that there are some special birthdays that warrant a little more celebration and recognition than others. I would say that they are one’s 21st and one’s 100th. Other than that, I feel that all other birthdays can get by with a modest celebration rather than some blow out “look at me” type bash.
Celebrating my 21st birthday!
First things first: When your birthday comes around, please realize that it is for one day. If you can’t celebrate your birthday on its actual day then it is fine to celebrate on an alternate day close to the original date but the key is that you get one celebration. I know numerous girls who have turned their birthday into a weekend bender, or worse yet, a week long tour. I even know some who will excuse their self-obsession and entitlement by using the excuse that it is her “birthday month.” Come on now. If you are celebrating your 23rd birthday, by all means treat yourself to a well-deserved party. Enjoy a night out on the town and the fun of getting treated like a queen. But please don’t try to extend it any further. I cringe when girls plan multiple birthday celebrations to recognize themselves, you know what I mean…they will have their separate event with just “the girls”, they will have their main dinner/bar hop with their big group, they will have their joint birthday celebration with one of their girlfriends who happens to have their birthday fall within the same week as theirs, they will have a work birthday, and then they will have a birthday event five days later on the weekend so anyone who was unable to celebrate in the multiple birthday events earlier in the week along with all the people who actually did can spoil the birthday girl once more.
Again, you are welcome to one celebration. You get the luxury of one night where you are spoiled rotten. Anything beyond that is excessive and self-indulging. No need to put your friends in the position of celebrating your special day more than once and feeling the obligation to pour money into your birthday crusade over an extended period of time.
Also, I have never gotten the girls who feel so entitled on their birthday. Congratulations on turning a year older but it does not make you the center of the universe. Don’t expect to have your ass kissed by everyone. Probably the one excuse I can’t stand more than any other: “I can do this/I get this because it is my birthday.” No, we are not in the third grade anymore. Everyone is not going to bow down to you and treat you like a goddess because it is your BDay. Really, so many girls think that they have the right to dictate, delegate, and direct every single shot on and around their day of birth. How about instead of digging into that huge birthday cake you substitute it for a well-needed slice of humble pie and cool the ego trip? How about acting like you have been there before, like you have already celebrated 20+ of these things in your lifetime rather than acting like it is a day that God created solely for you.
I get a good laugh out of the girls who deck themselves out in ridiculous birthday garb when they hit the town. If you are not turning twenty-one, please do not wear a crown downtown. Don’t embarrass yourself even more and dawn a sash. Commemorative glasses, beads, and necklaces need also not apply. I can’t think of anything else that sends more of a message of “Hey, I am special…buy me a drink, worship the ground I walk on, move out of my way.” The ultimate hilarious thing is the girl who will wear this stuff out more than once over a couple days. Get a life.
I am not anti-birthday. I recognize that they have a very important place and are even necessary in a society driven by milestones. Everyone deserves to celebrate their birthday but no one deserves to turn it into an extended self-promotion goat rope. Ladies, pick one day and one event to celebrate your birthday and have the time of your life. Just remember to keep it classy. Don’t Blink.
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